California Girl, Living in Oklahoma...

First day for the next four months

2008-09-08T21:32:00.003-05:00

So, Patrick is now off building sand castles and exploring the black market.

Eh, not really. But he is gone now, for four months, and it's definitely going to be a new challenge. Last summer I went home for the majority of Pat's deployment, and it was great because I saw old friends, traveled with my mom, bummed around San Francisco and the greater Bay Area, and saved a bunch of money.

This year, we'll definitely be saving money. We already talked to AT&T and discovered they've been overcharging us for our phone plan, so it's been cut down by $65. We'll save money on electricity, gas, groceries and takeout. He'll be getting tax-free, hazard and separation pay as well as his tax-free enlistment bonus in December.

I'm also in school full-time, taking some great and challenging classes, and I'm a paid staff writer [and sometimes copy editor] for The Vista on campus. It's a totally different experience from my days on [X]Press at SFSU. I get paid and I get to produce more stories, but it doesn't seem to have the camaraderie we had on [X]Press, at least not that I've picked up on yet.

I get my new phone next week [who wants to help me pick between a Blackberry Curve or a Palm Treo?], I'm going to Vegas in October, Mom's visiting in late October, and I have tons of friends here to keep me company and help me through this.

Today was interesting though. I got home from base and I was running on an hour of sleep, but I wasn't ready to crash right away. I talked to Regina on the phone for close to 90 minutes and kept an eye on Abbie, who seemed depressed. I think she knew what was going on, what with Patrick's multiple bags being all over the living room. Tonight for dinner I made a "homemade" pizza with pre-made crust, I just brushed roasted garlic olive oil over the crust and added my own stuff.

I'll be okay. Come the 15th, our finances will be so much more stable. I have a lot to keep positive about in the next few months.

Updates coming soon!
- The American Idol concert experience with Jessi! [with amazing pics]
- My new role on the Vista
- My last few days with the kiddos
- A possible new home in the future

olympics wrap-up, not that I've had much to say as it is.

2008-08-24T22:40:00.005-05:00

So, the Olympics are officially over. I have learned many things from these games, most importantly, that I'm seemingly willing to waste many hours of my life and sacrifice precious hours of sleep to watch every bloody second of coverage. I think it's the rare aspect of the Games that take ordinary, non-athletic viewers and draw them in, not to mention NBC's round-the-clock coverage of just about every sport.

While I look forward to getting my life back, I'll obviously miss many things about the past two weeks... at least for a few days until I remember what my summer was like before I saw Michael Phelps on my TV on an average of every 35.6 seconds.

Speaking of which...

[credit: latimes.com]

1.) Michael Phelps.
I categorize him separately from the other [just as sexy] swimmers for an obvious reason: as we have been reminded [on an average of probably 10.2 seconds, thank you Bob Costas], he is now the Greatest Olympian to Ever Walk the Planet. They even did a prime-time segment on how his body was virtually sculpted for swimming, from his long torso to his flipper-like size 14 feet. And yet, every time the little reminder icon on the bottom of my shiny new LCD TV said "Michael Phelps in X minutes, I got comfortable and waited for him to break yet another world record. If they were to create a drinking game for these Olympics, a rule would be to drink every time he was mentioned, and we would all end up in the hospital for alcohol poisoning. But that's not to discredit everything he's done in the week he was in the Water Cube [drink!]. Along with his teammates, he basically mopped the floor with his competitors around the world, and made it look easy. We should all be that lucky.

Not to mention, he really never has to worry about getting laid ever again.

[credit: china.cn]

2.) Obscure sports we never cared about before!
Raise your hand if you ever watched a rhythmic gymnastics competition before the Games. Or beach volleyball [which got old REAL fast]. Or badminton. Or rowing. Should I go on? Well, I can safely say that generally, I have absolutely no interest in the majority of the sports at the Olympics. And yet, I'm drawn to them, like Amy Winehouse to crystal meth, or Tom Cruise to couches... anyway, while I can justify watching swimming and gymnastics obsessively because I've always enjoyed watching them, even in non-Olympic years, I cannot justify the reasons for me putting a non-NBC blockade on my TV for two weeks in fear that I might miss the Chinese shutout in table tennis. I simply cannot. I became a freaking junkie.

3.) Those adorable Morgan Freeman VISA commercials.
By now, most American viewers who chose NBC as their network of choice to watch the Games [and who wouldn't? All the good stuff is here] can basically recite Freeman's warming monotone of athletes who achieved greatness by winning, or in some cases, by coming in dead last. "But he... and his father... finished." Not long after Nastia Liukin won her all-around gold: "But it's hard when the family business... is winning gold medals." I mean, everyone who's awesome knows that Morgan Freeman is the ultimate President, and he makes a pretty great God, too. So, of course he makes the ideal spokesman for telling us common folk about the fulfilled dreams and dashed hopes of the world's greatest. I wish I had something more snarky to say... but it's Morgan fricken Freeman.

[credit: nbcolympics.com]

4.) More USA swimmers!
Yeah, I can't help it. I'm shallow. But seriously, how can you be disgruntled when one of the big showcase prime-time events has a lot of really tall, really muscled half naked men all dripping wet and looking hot? I know I'm happy. Even aside from The Greatest Olympian to Ever Walk the Planet, we had Ryan Lochte [pictured above with his really awesome grill], Aaron Peirsol, Jason Lezak, Garret Weber-Gale, Ricky Berens... do I really need to go on? Do I even need to mention that all the aforementioned swimmers are gold medalists? I think not.

Let the drooling commence.

5.) That pesky USA vs. China thing we keep hearing about.
Hey NBC - guess what. The Cold War ended. It ended before some of those American gymnasts you keep touting were even conceived. And yet we still hear it, nearly every day in some form, that a gold medal comes down to the United States and China. The gold medal race was seemingly do or die for the the US team, and it was especially pronounced during the gymnastics competition. Now, don't get me wrong. Five out of six of the female Chinese gymnasts looked like they needed to be in grammar school instead of the gymnastics boot camp they're put through, and if some of those girls are 16, then I'm hooking up with Michael Phelps. But the male gymnasts were probably the closest thing to perfection I've seen in the sport, and so were all the divers. Still though, it's this East vs. West, communism vs. capitalism, human rights vs. um... no human rights? deal, over and over, providing speculation in the judged events and ominous shades of the 1980s. They say that it's so strange that the Chinese did this well on home ground, but what people conveniently forget is that in the 2002 Salt Lake City games, the Americans doubled their previous efforts. All on home ground and often in events we epically fail at.

No one is going to doubt that China has its fair share of problems. But seriously, in the name of one world and Olympic spirit, can we de-politicize this just a tad?

Anyway.

It was a great games - and to note, the closing credits montage was one of the most inspiring I've seen. Patrick pokes fun at me for getting all teary-eyed at them, but that damn Remember the Titans music combined with images we've seen and associated with greatness, and images that define both the agony of defeat and the disbelief of winning, is enough to turn me into one big sap.

Viva Vancouver 2010. Now let's keep our fingers crossed that I'll actually get to go this time...

update?

2008-08-14T20:23:00.002-05:00

I know I need to update this. And I will.

School starts next Monday. My last day of work with the kiddos is tomorrow [at least until January]. I've been virtually glued to the Olympics for close to a week. I'm definitely not getting enough sleep at night. I'm trying to figure out the best way to fend off chronic homesickness while Patrick is gone, whenever it is he ends up leaving.

But I hope I haven't lost too many readers with my sparse posts lately. I think once school starts and I'm more active in general, I'll have more to say. The Olympics have piqued my interest in this as well - maybe this weekend I'll post my thoughts thus far.

I'll be around.

faster, higher, stronger.

2008-08-08T13:44:00.002-05:00

Today is 08.08.2008 ... do you know what that means?

The Summer Olympics start tonight!

I grew up in a home that watched Olympic sports religiously, especially every four years when we were blessed with a summer and winter games. Then in 1994 everything went haywire when the Lillehammer Winter Olympics were held only two years after the games in France, and they started staggering the games - an Olympics every two years, but each season's events would be every four years.

The one specific Olympics that I remember most fondly was the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City. It was my first year of college and I had just discovered a relative "unknown" short track savant, the great Apolo Anton Ohno. My 18 year old hormones went into full overdrive and I followed his events religiously and was even inspired to write a dorky fan-fiction about him, which ended up around 50,000 words and 20 chapters and a slew of Internet readers. But even with that aside, I grew into a fan of short track speedskating, and my mom and I met a number of new friends over at Ohno Zone who we were blessed to have met. We traveled to two World Cup events in 2003, in Salt Lake City and Marquette, Michigan. I was even able to grasp some media experience helping out some friends with websites and interview transcriptions in the media room there.

Patrick picks on me because one of my favorite aspects of the Olympics are the portfolio-boosting packages on athletes and their experiences, the editing and the montages that are compiled in the end. I'm generally not a very patriotic person, but there's usually at least one moment at every Games that brings tears to my eyes. I think that what the nations do, especially the host nations who put together the Opening and Closing Ceremonies, is nothing short of astonishing.

I definitely can't wait to be glued to my TV for the next few weeks!

three-day weekend goodness.

2008-07-29T15:37:00.003-05:00

What a weekend. I can honestly say I wasn't expecting it to be this eventful, but I'm glad it was. Every time I get sad and worry that I'm going to feel lonely and without much of a support system in Oklahoma when Patrick deploys, I now know to remind myself that I do have good people in my life here.

My friend Jessi invited Patrick and me over to her adorable apartment to have a cookout with her, her fiance and their little one, Castor. They live in one of the nicer apartment complexes in the general area [we lived in the "sister" complex when we lived with Andy and Julie two years ago] so when she mentioned swimming, I knew it would be a good idea.

We've had something of a massive heat wave for the past three weeks or so. The opportunity to swim where I could avoid the urge to dropkick unruly kids and enjoy time with my friends was far too good to pass up. So we packed the stroller with the baby, towels and a stack of Solo cups and the cooler full of beer and wine coolers and headed to their spacious pool area. Patrick and one of the other guys couldn't swim for various reasons, so it ended up mostly being Jessi, Jamie and I floating back and forth across the pool balancing cups. It wasn't too busy when we got there, but a couple of teenage Girls Gone Wild wannabes with mid-20s guys had one end of the pool colonized, and a guy in board shorts was randomly ribbon-dancing at the other end.

After we had enough sun, we headed back to the apartment and grilled up a ridiculous amount of food - brats, burgers, chicken, corn on the cob, baked beans. We ended up playing a game called Dirty Minds which used scandalous wordplays to describe everyday things. Jessi declared me the master of it when I managed to guess "filibuster" correctly.

We also had some really bad Mango test tube shots that tasted strangely like medicine. Never again.

Sunday was fairly chill. Patrick helped his friend and co-worker Josh move across town, along with our friend Taylor. I invited Jessica over to hang out - she's the daughter of family friends, and the step-sister of one of my best high school friends. Her parents moved to Oklahoma from Northern California for work, so she's here visiting her parents for the summer [her mom lives in California]. She's 14 and needed a change of scenery, so while Patrick was gone she hijacked his laptop while we shared music and watched movies. I invited the guys over for chicken parmigiana, my specialty, because I knew they'd be tired after a long day of moving.

After dinner, the four of us headed down to the Copa for cocktails and a very entertaining drag show. Generally I feel a lot more comfortable there because it's a gay bar and the closest thing I get to being hit on is guys telling me how cute my clothes are. Which is perfectly fine with me. Not to mention the atmosphere is friendlier and the bartenders can pour one mean drink.

Patrick has never been uncomfortable with gay bars. I think his biggest concern was that no one would find him attractive, honestly, but those fears were quelled when a few guys asked if he was gay. Of course, he promptly introduced me to them as his wife. But he gets along great there, even using it as an "excuse" to drink fruity drinks.

I'm definitely glad he's deploying with our friend Josh this fall. He's a really great, sincere guy who seems to be generally out of the huge AWACS fishbowl that we all deal with to an extent here. He isn't part of the gossip [at least in our squadron / group] and he's a true positive influence, and I think that's essential when they're in a crazy part of the world.

Chantal [pictured above] was totally crushing on Josh all night, which I found hilarious. Drag queens are pretty cool - one was wearing a dress that I fell in love with, and Josh said he'd try to get her to give it to me [heh]. Not to mention I'd love to have one do my makeup one day for kicks.

Taylor's favorite bartender, Donnie, is a sweetheart. I was surprised that he remembered me from last weekend, but in a good way. Last weekend when I ordered a double vodka Red Bull, he handed me a full glass of vodka on ice and a can of Red Bull. This weekend he introduced Taylor and I to a shot called a hard nipple - one part Crown Royal and one part buttershots, shaken and strained. I could very easily consume several of those and not think twice about it.

Our weekend extended into Monday because Patrick and I both had the day off. He decided a dozen Dunkin' Donuts would be a nice treat, and we decided to take Jessica to the zoo. The Oklahoma City Zoo is quite large, but you wouldn't know it from the low turnout yesterday.

Of course, I blame the 103 degree weather for the low turnout. After an hour, Jessica and I were totally dragging and taking advantage of the 50 cent refills on our souvenir cup of Diet Coke. I'm pretty sure we went into every exhibit that had air conditioning, and ran through as many sprinklers as humanly possible.

I was concerned our weekend would be too relaxed for my own good, but I'm glad to say that with the presence of really good friends and good attitudes and my shiny new camera, we had a blast. I just need to remind myself of this whenever I get nervous about Pat leaving - I've got great people to be around here.

Vocal rest sucks.

2008-07-20T13:21:00.002-05:00

This is not a face that endorses laryngitis, kids.

In the past 18 months, I have had: gastroenteritis, strep throat, swimmer's ear, three or four colds, the flu, bronchitis, sinus surgery and now full-blown laryngitis.

Moral of the story? Thank heavens for Tricare.

I really can't speak, and if I try it's very straining and I'm hard to understand. Patrick's just been on AIM since yesterday and that's how I communicate with him. Generally I feel fine - I just can't talk. I'm generally a very chatty person, so this is very hard to deal with.

It started on Friday - I was losing my voice, but I could still talk. I just sounded like a two-pack a day smoker. We went to the Copa with some friends of ours that night, which was a REALLY bad idea because loud clubs + rapidly diminishing voice = no voice the next day. Though I did have a fantastic time, as I always do there.

Yesterday was Hannah's birthday. She turned four, and sometimes I'm amazed at how fast she and Zach are growing up. I started working there about 10 months ago, and Zach couldn't even sit upright on his own. Now he's walking all over the place and babbling up a storm.

Like most kids her age [and some adults, too], Hannah loves High School Musical... and Zac Efron. Who doesn't?

It was an adorable low-key birthday party, complete with bubbles, cupcakes shaped like ice cream cones and kids getting all their energy out running around on playground equipment, some of which was very old-school. It definitely brought me back to my childhood.

Lastly... Abbie and Yoyo love each other... kind of. Abbie just tries to stay as far away from the kitty as possible while still laying in her favorite spot. She's a bit neurotic.

friends like this are hard to come by.

2008-07-17T19:21:00.002-05:00

One of my best friends here moved back to the West Coast today. I'd known she was leaving for awhile, but it's still sad, especially with Patrick leaving soon.

I met Cindy the summer I moved to Oklahoma, in 2006. I saw a posting by her in a generic Military Wives community on MySpace, and I saw she and her husband were stationed at Tinker like us. Then she directed me to the community for Tinker Wives, and they were planning a girls night.

I wanted to meet new people. I'd had some fallout with another friend and I desperately wanted to meet new people. So Patrick drove me downtown to meet up with her and another girl, Vicki. We had dinner and drinks at Toby Keith's, and we did a little bar-hopping around some of the area, discovering Daiquiri Zone [a sports-bar themed place that sold over 20 frozen daiquiris] and Venu [a small club-style bar that was sadly undervisited].

Over the course of the summer and into the fall and winter, Cindy and I hung out more. She taught me her version of drinking Monopoly. She became friends with the person I had the fallout with [they worked together] so the three of us ended becoming buddies. We had an impromptu Oscar party complete with lots of junk food. Julie joined Cindy and I on a girl's day out complete with the hookah bar, half-off Valentine's Day chocolates and matching PJs. I taught her basketball terminology at a Hornets game where we had horrible seats. We took our dogs to the dog park and had dinners at our homes. I felt - and still feel - that she was one of best friends here in Oklahoma.

Last fall, she told me her husband was filing for divorce. What was once a civil matter between the two of them became every woman's worst nightmare. She spent a lot of time at my place then, and I did what I could to give her advice and moral support through a very difficult time. She also discovered the OKC club scene with us and started dating someone from school. We had a lot of fun then, knowing she didn't have a lot of time left in Oklahoma, but we both got really busy with school and work that we didn't get to hang out as much. But when we did, it was usually epic.

I'm really going to miss her. Aside from an incident with the friend I'd had fallout with before, that we both became friends with, there had never been any drama between us. She was one of the friends here I could count on if I needed someone or if I needed to just get out of the house for lunch. As liberal West Coasters, we felt the same way about living here, and I know she's happy to be going home. Even though I wish she could stay through this deployment, I give her a lot of credit for coming as far as she has in the past year and hopefully she and I can have more adventures in the future.

finally, a disclaimer.

2008-07-13T22:39:00.002-05:00

A recent anonymous comment on here has encouraged me to write this, as a bit of a disclaimer and clarification. I deleted the post and comment, for while it may have been honest and brutally truthful from this person's perspective, it was also very offensive and a borderline personal attack.

So here ya go... This is not a professional blog.

When I moved here from California two years ago, I knew I wanted to create a blog chronicling my experiences as a Bay Area transplant living in the proverbial Middle America. Like it or not, it was a huge culture shock and still remains so at times. I feel like my experiences are fairly unique for people I know, namely my friends and family back home, and I wanted to share them. For better or worse, I write. I always have. I used to write on LiveJournal and when I realized that the format and the environment was stifling for me, I moved to Blogspot like many of my friends have.

I made a post earlier today about my in-laws visiting, and in it was a paragraph about Waffle House. Everything I wrote in that graf was from what I saw. It wasn't embellished. It wasn't made up. Should I have omitted what I said? Perhaps I should have. It was not as though I took pictures of the people I wrote about and posted them here. I won't elaborate further, in an effort to not dig myself into an unflattering hole, but what I said wasn't libelous. But from now on I intend to be far more conscientious about what I write, because I've always been aware of the fact that I can be Googled and potential employers can find this.

But the fact remains that this anonymous commenter questioned my personal integrity and my choice in future profession. I have no idea yet if I intend to pursue journalism, even though it's my major. I don't graduate for another year so I have some time to figure out what I want to pursue. This isn't the best part of the country to break into the media, especially with recent cutbacks. After taking recent courses in public relations, I'm considering that as well; I've noticed far more feasible job options in that field here.

I don't feel that a personal blog, which is mostly comprised of my general experiences here without judgment on the people I know and encounter, will disqualify me for any future careers in this country. I've had this blog since January, and since then my posts have consisted of American Idol / Jason Castro drivel, stuff about the Oscars and film in general, day-to-day experiences with my husband and our friends, being back in school and pictures. That's really it... I just went back and checked for any other potentially offensive posts, should I need to edit or delete them. I couldn't find any. I don't talk about work unless it's vague, and I don't talk about school much outside of my thoughts on the subject matter.

I do ask that my readers allow me to have this as a safe zone of sorts. I don't have much of one here. My friends are from all walks of life because most of my friends here are in or married to the military. If I make an effort to not sound potentially libelous and judgmental toward those I witness [I'm an avid people-watcher], I ask that those who may find this offensive either take it up with me outside my blog, or just take me off their RSS feed / bookmark list. I also ask that the person who commented, should they know me in real life, confront me personally so I can further clear this up. I am not just a renegade blogger out to slander the name of Oklahomans because I've met many Oklahomans living here and every state [yes, including mine] has its good and bad apples. I am also not writing in this blog with the sole purpose to avenge my name after some of the offensive "you're from California" comments I've received [though I did address them in an entry about that several months ago, and I intend to leave it at that]. This blog is for me; and it is also for those who know me or who may stumble upon it to understand my day-to-day experiences.

In the future, anonymous comments will be disabled. If you have questions about how to sign up for a Google / Blogspot or OpenID account, ask me. Thank you.

The in-laws visit Oklahoma. Day One.

2008-07-08T22:44:00.002-05:00

Fair warning to those who are visually stimulated: I haven't used my camera at all in the past few days, so this will probably be the only post with a photo [courtesy of Julie]. Once I get a point-and-click that is not only small but doesn't require recharging every hour, my posts will have more photo goodness. Carry on. :)

Patrick's parents, Bill and Sherie, arrived here July 4 afternoon. ExpressJet offers direct flights from Northern California to OKC [probably the only airline to do so], so their travel was quick and convenient. We came by the house and relaxed a bit before going over to Andy and Julie's July 4 fiesta.

We weren't expecting a huge blowout, but Jessi and Marc were already there with baby Castor [only one month old!] and Brandi and Grafton had just arrived. Izzy and Cora live with Andy and Julie now, and they had served up a virtual feast - crockpot ribs, salsa, several different kinds of chips, trail mix, cheese and pepperoni tray, potato salad, macaroni salad, wine and beer. Julie made us Jack and Cokes and a few of us played a drinking game inside while the guys relaxed outside under a large canopy. I was still dealing with light sensitivity and watery eyes [due to allergies of death] so I stayed inside till dusk.

Jessi and Marc brought over a game we simply call "Bags" which involved tossing beanbag footballs onto field-shaped platforms across the grass. The guys took this to another level, throwing a tennis ball at the girls, and once Julie chucked that over the fence, they started throwing soccer balls at the bags being tossed, making for a far more challenging game.

Andy had sparklers, Black Cats, Roman candles and jumping jacks that we lit off in the cul-de-sac. Some of the guys Patrick and Andy worked with crashed the party and found it funny to throw lit Black Cats into the garage, near people's feet. Needless to say after awhile it turned into a fistfight between them and some of our friends, so the crashers didn't stay long.

Bill learned how to play beer pong, and we invited one of the neighbors to hang with us. Once we ran out of airplane bottles of Jack, I opted for Boone's Farm straight from the bottle [the only way to drink it]. There was the requisite level of drama, drinking, games and down time - the ideal Air Force in Oklahoma party. Kinda cool that Patrick's parents got to see it, meet our friends and see for themselves what we do basically every weekend.

imagine all people, living life in peace.

2008-06-30T19:16:00.003-05:00

In an act of relative boredom last night, I watched 30 Days on FX. I've never really watched the show before, but this episode stood out to me. It asked a pertinent question: should gay and lesbian couples be allowed to adopt children?

To me, the answer is easy and obvious. They absolutely should.

This episode took a woman named Kati, a Mormon from Southern California, to the home of a gay male couple [the Patricks] and their four adopted children in Michigan. She was to spend 30 days with them in attempt to open her thought process to the idea of a loving home for adopted children - even if it went against her belief system.

Kati was a broken record throughout the episode. It could have been a drinking game - drink every time she says that children should only be raised by a man and woman. Drink whenever she says she can't go against her morals. And so on, et cetera. To me, the most interesting factor was the fact that she couldn't hold her own against many people she encountered. One particular incident at a picnic with other gay families stood out - an older gay woman was calm and rational, asking Kati to explain why she felt that she couldn't marry her partner and what exactly she considered "unethical" about it. Cue Kati storming away in tears about how "those people" are attacking her beliefs.

Toward the end, one of the men she lived with explained that her militant anti-gay bias was intrusive on his lifestyle; a vote against gay adoption rights is a vote to take his children away. Kati said that his beliefs stepped on her toes, too - all those dang gay people existing happily and normally intruding on her beliefs! How dare they!

Even more interesting was that she met with two people who had experienced the foster system as children and explained to Kati that it can be a dead-end, because all too often children ride it out until they're 18, with no stable adoptive family unit. Despite the statistics they gave her, her beliefs held firm - gay couples should not raise children, period.

One of my favorite cousins [she's close to my mom's age] is gay; she's been with her partner for almost 20 years. They have four adopted children, all in their teens now. I've known them for awhile [they live in Connecticut] but last summer I was able to spend a week with them in a rented beach house in Rhode Island. All four of their kids are well-adjusted, smart and in no way confused about how families work. They were all at-risk children as well, and living in Jill and Annie's home provided them a stable family and future. They're fantastic parents and knowing them, I can't ponder the concept of some higher power wanting to take those four kids away because they have two moms. Just because a couple is heterosexual couple, doesn't necessarily grant them the "ideal parent" prototype.

I've always been very pro-gay rights. Maybe it was living in the Bay Area of California, maybe it's having several [normal! gasp!] gay friends. Who knows. I simply believe that they are who they are, and no rights that heterosexuals are granted should be withheld from them because of their sexual orientation. This is not a country run on the words of the Bible, nor is it any kind of theocracy. I have yet to hear a valid argument against gay marriage or adoption, let alone one that doesn't include religion, the Bible, the "they can't procreate" factor or the so-called "icky" factor.

There's a lot of opposition to gay marriage / rights in Oklahoma, and a commonly heard argument against it is "it will destroy the sanctity of marriage". My question: how? How does two men being married hurt you? Hell, if your church doesn't want to marry gay couples, they don't have to. They can just go to the courthouse like many straight couples do and still get a legitimate marriage license. If one wants to look at what's "really" hurting the so-called sanctity of marriage, check out the quickie Vegas weddings, no-contest divorce states [Oklahoma is one of them] and sham marriages for government benefits. There are problems with the state of marriage as it is, a marriage currently only granted to heterosexual couples in the majority of the country. You know that saying about people and glass houses? Well...

I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir. I know that there are many, many other and better arguments for why gay couples shouldn't be denied the rights that straight couples have. But it's always been something I've been passionate about. Why *should* Americans be denied these rights, just because they love someone of the same gender? I have yet to hear a valid reason and I don't think I will.

Here's to hoping that in 20-30 years, maybe even sooner, this concept will be as outdated as the separate-but-equal movement, Jim Crow laws and denying women the right to vote. One can dream, right?

back to basics.

2008-06-23T22:10:00.002-05:00

I should have known this. At least I was warned, back at SF State, when many of my journalism professors basically said, "We're going to un-teach you the art of college essay writing. You will live and breathe AP Style". Of course, I'm a senior now and taking mostly journalism classes, but I still have to write an essay for my Principles of Public Relations class. My professor, a very cool guy indeed, at least had the good sense to take one class to explain how he wanted the paper written and to go over MLA and APA formats. He even gave us copies of former "A" essays he's graded.

It's still hard. I didn't realize that two years of nonstop newswriting and then two years off from school would make me forget how to do something I was once very good at. I used to be able to churn out a 5-7 page essay without batting an eyelash. Now, I had to sit down and peruse Patrick's MLA handbook several times before opening Microsoft Word. I wrote everything I could and tried to find sources that were credible enough for my professor's liking [thank you, EBSCOhost], but I think I pulled it off. I can only hope.

My first topic was going to be about NBC and its marketing plan, how the network itself has become a brand of its own. I wanted to incorporate Rockefeller Center, the interactive Today Show, the household-name celebrities the network has churned out [Johnny Carson, Tom Brokaw, possibly the late Tim Russert], the Must-See TV phenomenon. But I couldn't gather my thoughts well enough to compose a 3-5 page paper with credible sources and a thesis. I knew that my whole "Rockefeller Center, the NBC tour and the Office are all kickass" pitch wouldn't hold water.

So I decided to write my essay on product placement and product branding in the media. I was inspired by American Idol and its relentless promotional tie-ins, and Naomi Klein's book No Logo, which is absolutely amazing and everyone should read it. We watched the mini-documentary for "No Logo" in class and it was fascinating to see how we have become the brand we wear, consume, purchase. Many of these brands sell a lifestyle - Hollister Co. sells the "California beach bum" look, Starbucks sells the "community" lifestyle, Apple and the iPod sell the "trendy modern city hipster' lifestyle. Klein believes that we are what we consume, in a nutshell. The book was an eye-opener, and as someone who studies the media, I found it very interesting indeed.

My essay is written and I turn it in tomorrow. I'm still nervous, despite my confidence about my topic. He's outlined his expectations of us and I'm sure I've followed through with them, but I still have that twinge of trepidation.

I also dropped the Principles of Advertising class I was scheduled to start next week. Point blank, I don't need it and I don't know if I want to risk another 12 hours a week with a professor I might not like. Plus, I now get over $400 back from UCO... how cool is that?

the past month or so.

2008-06-20T16:10:00.002-05:00

The past month and a half has been very eventful, indeed.

I tried absinthe for the first time.

I saw Jake, one of my heroes [and best friends].

I channeled my mad bartending skillz.

I danced to hyphy music with people who actually appreciate it.

I saw Rob for the first time in about three years.

I sang "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" with Brian.

I've also done a lot more stuff, I just didn't have my camera available. Go me.

Patrick graduated from Airman Leadership school this week, and I wish I had my camera for it, but we both forgot it. I'm very proud of him, though. This weekend... Andy's birthday! That should be interesting.

random thoughts whilst on allergy-induced hiatus.

2008-06-17T13:13:00.006-05:00

Since it's been like, two and a half weeks since I updated this thing, here are a few thoughts about my world lately.

I think I'm officially known in my Principles of PR class as "Allergy Girl". My eyes have been extremely swollen and watery from this stupid windy air for a week and a half, and I've resorted to wearing my sunglasses in class because my eyes are so sensitive to light. They got bad again this morning at work, and my professor [who is very strict on attendance] just told me to head home after the exam and to see a doctor. Three different people in class asked me how the allergies were treating me [as opposed to the guy next to me who asked if I had too much to drink the night before]. As I was leaving class after the exam, one of my male classmates was giving me eye advice, but in that whole "I want to ask you out" sort of way. Maybe it was my unintentional "femme fatale" look that was cultivated by my huge Jackie O shades and black hat. I guess I should look into a black belted trenchcoat to complete the look.
Why do cashiers in this state ALWAYS ask me if I need a bag to hold my stuff? No thanks, I'll just juggle these ten items out to my car and apartment. That's a great idea.
Zach has about 700 toys that are super cool and make lots of noise that should be appealing to a 15-month old baby, but all he wants to do is sit on the coffee table, push buttons on the TV, chew on tissues and pull DVDs off of the shelf.
We have new neighbors, whose sister is visiting with her five children. They like to wade ankle-deep in the giant puddle outside the apartment building that is filled with bugs and germs. They also like to run around sans pants.
I love the fact that my professor this summer is a bleeding-heart liberal. I never thought I'd say that after two years at SF State, but after spending two years in conservative hell, it's a Godsend.

Also, my new Vera Bradley messenger bag is quite possibly the best thing ever.

the antithesis of summer.

2008-05-29T20:14:00.002-05:00

My trip to California was really great. Seriously, even though I spent more than a few days just relaxing on my mom's couch watching SoapNet and browsing American Idol forums, I got to see most of my friends, shop in San Francisco, enjoy In-N-Out and real seafood, hit up my old stomping grounds [Cloud 9!] and attend a house party hosted by one of my best friends. All in all, a great vacation that I needed after a hectic semester.

However, it's not going to get easier. I'm now working part-time at Tan-N-Go in Oklahoma City [near the airport and Cracker Barrel, which can be a blessing and a curse] along with working two mornings a week with the kiddos. I'm also knocking out six units at UCO in two months, which means I'll be in class another 12 hours a week on top of about 30 hours a week of work.

The best thing about it is the money, obviously. I'm not exactly rolling in the cash, but it's still a pretty good supplement for Patrick and me. We need to get a futon [found one at Wal-Mart for $104!] and we want to get a new digital camera, a printer and a real filing cabinet. Not only that, but having extra income lets us do more. We can have dinner out if we want to, we can buy DVDs and we can go out with friends. We don't do those things all the time but they're options. Even though I'm a student, I would feel guilty for not working because I know how much Patrick makes and while we can live on it, we want to do more than simply live. We want to go into a pay period without worrying. I'm fully capable of working, so I have no reason not to. Besides, I've never been domestic.

Another good thing about me being busy is getting six more units toward my degree. I seriously cannot wait to graduate. I've been in school too long and I just want to work in the field I've been studying for four years. I'll most likely be making a lot more once that happens.

I also want to visit my friend Chip in Las Vegas this fall when Patrick's deployed. Chip is renting a house a few minutes away from the Strip, so a cheap plane ticket and a free place to stay would make for a pretty awesome weekend away after all the stuff I have going on right now. I think Flo will be meeting up with us too, which is all kinds of awesome because me + Flo + Vegas = possibly epic rehashing of the college days. Hah. Maybe.

Either way, I'm glad I'm being a productive member of society and keeping busy and making money. Patrick will be gone in the fall so this will be a good way to ease into that period - being busy and not having time to dwell on him being gone like I did last year before I drove to California. I'm sure it'll be exhausting, but it'll be completely worth it.

the end is the beginning is the end... of American Idol, that is

2008-05-23T00:14:00.003-05:00

It's no secret that I'm a total American Idol junkie, and every year when the finale rolls around, I get a little bit melancholy. This year, one of my favorites, David Cook, was the winner. Even though I had a special place in my heart for Jason Castro, I knew after the top 5 that he wasn't going to win. I still voted my fingers off but when he left, I was all about David Cook.

I think it was probably the best year for Idol, despite the fact that we saw complacent judging, overly-pimped chosen ones [who were chosen for God knows what reason], the first ever "pageant" contestant complete with entourage, the craptastic themes and general old-fashioned feel of the whole thing. It wasn't until the top 3 that we heard songs from this decade, let alone the past ten years. But it was the the first year they allowed musical instruments, which opened the door for contestants like Jason, David and Brooke White to truly shine, where in another season they would have been drowned out by glory-noters. In a few paragraphs, here are my highlights from season 7 -

Archie and his inspirational grab bag - poverty, homelessness, religion, life's journey, gun control, immigration, inner faith, need I go on? Danny Noriega - "some people weren't LIKING it!" *cue head swish* Luke Menard and his pretty Orlando Bloom resemblance. David Cook as a Word Nerd. Jason coming out from behind - the one-two punch of Daydream and Hallelujah in the semi's. Carly the uber-plant. Aussie Michael Johns and his wannabe rock star style. Ramiele and her emotional breakdowns during every single effing results show. The Beatles, times two. Chikezie turning the Beatles into something out of O Brother, Where Art Thou. Jason and his "you remind me of a guy singing in a dorm room at midnight" with his enthusiastic "yep, that's me!" David Hernandez, gay male stripper, now that's hawt. Jason learns French - "Ma belle... I didn't know that was French... I thought it was English!" Kristy Lee + Eight Days a Week = Dolly Parton on crack. Carly mistakes Blackbird for a song about her seven million chances as a recording artist, not the Civil Rights Movement. David Cook reinvents Billie Jean all Chris Cornell style and becomes a frontrunner. Archie sings about why you shouldn't shoot people. Kristy Lee panders like crazy to red staters. Jason goes international again singing a Sting song in Spanish - and then hits the bottom 3 for the first [and only] time and freaks out his fans.

Dolly Parton and her plastic yet still sassy self mentors the Idols. Brooke sings Jolene with a big grin on her face, completely ignoring the fact that the song is about a homewrecker. Jason + Travelin' Thru = something he needs to jack from Miss Dolly and record on an album. Archie sings about mountains, Syesha busts out Whitney [again], Ramiele sounds like a karaoke reject and then leaves. The dork dancing in the results show is at a new high - neither Michael, David Cook or Jason seem to care anymore that they have no rhythm. Oh yeah, they're all roommates too - can I have a season pass to that room, please? Idol Gives Back - a whole lot of depressing videos set to U2 music. Oh look, Jason can also play the ukulele - and paid homage to another beloved deceased artiste. Michael Johns cannot appropriately imitate Steven Tyler. David Cook writes something on his hand that, sadly enough, does not say "Not Penny's Boat". Kristy Lee actually doesn't sing something pandering on Inspirational night - imagine that! Carly mistakes Freddie Mercury's anthem about dying of AIDS as another metaphor for her failed career. Michael Johns, gone at top 8? No way! Mariah Carey proved to not be a ginormous trainwreck. The guys pwned the ladies. David Cook turns Always Be My Baby into a summer blockbuster soundtrack song. Jason takes us to a luau [???] with a Spanish guitar-inspired remix. Carly channels the powers of Harry Nilsson, kinda. Archie attempts to sing both Whitney AND Mariah at the same time. Kristy Lee finally freaking leaves, and Syesha replaces her as "person who will always be in the bottom 3/2 no matter what".

Andrew Lloyd Webber songs, wtf? Jason - "I didn't know it was sung by a cat!" as he sings Memory from Cats. Oh look, David Cook can sing a song straight, and he can do so very well. Archie forgets more words, and no one seems to notice. Syesha proves she has a personality. Brooke stops an entire orchestra because she literally started falling apart on live TV. Carly screams about Jesus a lot and then gets voted off. Neil Diamond is the last of the "wtf, seriously?" mentors. Paula shows her time-traveling and/or psychic skillz. Jason gives shout-outs to his Castro pants-loving fanbase by singing Forever in Blue Jeans. David Cook and Syesha sing songs that I cannot remember to save my life. Archie ruins Sweet Caroline. Brooke consumes several Red Bulls and cracks out to I'm a Believer and then finally leaves, hopefully in search of some Xanax. Too bad the five of them can't harmonize worth a damn - but David Cook shows us that if this Idol thing goes bust, he'll make a great traveling preacher. The top 4 go to Vegas to watch Cirque du Soleil, kiss dolphins, get mauled by fans and all that other important stuff that helps you perform better. Rock and Roll Hall of Fame week - to Archie, that means more ballads. To Syesha - songs about the Civil Rights Movement that she can compare her life to. David Cook overshoots with the Who. Jason was thinkin' Bob Marley! and forgets some words to a very popular Bob Dylan song and the judges act like he sacrificed kittens on stage.

Top 3 - personal, producer and judges choice. Archie shows sings about "shawty" and his "boo" and makes America laugh hysterically. Syesha is predictable with Alicia Keys and some song from Happy Feet. David Cook is just genre-bending awesomeness. Syesha is out at top 3 and the David vs. David finale, that seems to have been predicted in the Book of Deuteronomy, is actually going to happen, despite the fact that TPTB had to steamroll the competition to get there. David Cook sings current music and is blasted for it. Archie sings more ballads and is called "molten hot" [drink!]. Finale night does not disappoint. Cheesetastic medleys, dork dancing up the yin-yang and awesomely bad 80s music. Donna Summer, Bryan Adams and George Michael - a trifecta of 80s cheese, if you will. Seal! That other guy from Crosby Stills and Nash! ZZ Top! Jimmy Kimmel! Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr as the Pips! Will it ever end? Probably not. Oh look, that "I am your brother!" dude from the auditions, wasn't he like 45? That David Cook Guitar Hero commercial was all kinds of hot - can I order one for my living room? Jason reprises his version of Hallelujah and is even better than before. And David Cook wins - a surprise to most of the country. He cries a lot, and I do too, because I can't deal with guys crying, I lose my shit.

So there ya go... American Idol 7 in a few nutshells. Now I can go back to having a fairly normal life, no?

because really, it's only a minor obsession.

2008-05-20T02:42:00.003-05:00

In a small handful of words, here are my top 10 favorite cover songs. Until further notice.

1.) Love Will Tear Us Apart - The Cure [original: Joy Division]

When the routine bites hard and ambitions are low,
And the resentment rides high but emotions won't grow,
And we're changing our ways, taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart again...

More driving than the original. It shifts from the hollow, self-loathing voice of Joy Division and moves to an angrier, less resigned version by the Cure. In the same genre of sound, yet still genius.

2.) Heaven [Candlelight mix] - DJ Sammy [original: Bryan Adams]

Now, nothing can take you away from me
We've been down that road before, but thats over now,
You keep me coming back for more...

Gentle. It takes away from the 80s rock edge and spins this song into the 21st century, into a pleading ballad, a true love song in every sense of the idea.

3.) Over the Rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole [original: Judy Garland]

Someday I wish upon a star,
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops, high above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly
And the dreams that you dare to,
Why, oh why can't I?

A Hawaiian spin, yet contemporary. A complete 180 from the original and almost all copies of the original. You'll feel like you're relaxing on aquamarine waves under a pink and blue sky.

4.) Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley [original: Leonard Cohen]

Well, maybe I've been here before, I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch, and love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah...

Of all the covers of this offbeat classic, this is the most recognizable and the most haunting. It will break your heart.

5.) Hurt - Johnny Cash [original: Nine Inch Nails]

What have I become, my sweetest friend?
Everyone I know goes away in the end
And you could have it all, my empire of dirt
I will let you down ... I will make you hurt.

Only the Man in Black could successfully cover Nine Inch Nails and make it sound more tortured than the original. In the last year of his life, this could have been his self-written eulogy.

6.) Time After Time - Eva Cassidy [original: Cyndi Lauper]

Sometimes you picture me, I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear what you've said
Then you say, go slow, I fall behind
The second hand unwinds...

The original is a piece of 80s pop fluff perfection, but Eva Cassidy has a knack for molding popular songs and turning them on her ear. You'll never think "1987 prom" when you hear this.

7.) Jolene - the White Stripes [original: Dolly Parton]

Your beauty is beyond compare, with flaming locks of auburn hair,
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green
Your smile is like a breath of spring and your voice is soft like summer rain,
And I cannot compete with you, Jolene.

In a clever twist of gender-bending, Jack White is utterly and completely convincing as someone who is worried about a woman named Jolene stealing his man. I don't think any other rock star could really pull that off.

8.) When the Stars Go Blue - Tim McGraw [original: Ryan Adams]

Where do you go when you're lonely?
Where do you go when you're blue?
Where do you go when you're lonely? I'll follow you... when the stars go blue.

The sole country cover on the list, though it doesn't sound like it. Ryan Adams' version is more romantic and wistful, but this works on another level completely.

9.) Wonderwall - Ryan Adams [original: Oasis]

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
And there are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how
Because maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me,
And after all, you're my wonderwall.

Less rock and more folky, more earthy. The kind of song you'd slow dance to in a small room.

10.) Comfortably Numb - Dar Williams and Ani DiFranco [original: Pink Floyd]

There is no pain, you are receding,
A distant ships smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves,
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child I had a fever,
My hands felt just like two balloons
Now I've got that feeling once again,
I can't explain, you would not understand, this is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

A female touch on one of the best classic rock songs ever written. It has its own strengths without taking away from the idea of the original.

summer thoughts at random.

2008-05-17T02:17:00.005-05:00

Summer has begun. My spring finals are finished and I'm here in California for another week and a half. This is a place that agrees with me. Of course, it helps that I lived here for 23 years.

Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis has reluctantly become one of those songs that gets played over and over again on my shiny new iPod. I didn't think much of it when I first heard her sing it on American Idol, but the light-as-a-cloud vocals and wistful sensuality has become a true summer song for me, much like Umbrella by Rihanna was for most of the country last summer.

I hear this song everywhere I go - I don't even need to play it out on my iPod, really. It accompanies me in the car, on my mom's XM radio, at the tanning salon, in promo ads for Gossip Girl. It's a song that plays comfortably in the background as I drive down the freeway, window open with my layered hair blowing, the sun shining down on my summer tan.

I wish I could spend all summer here in California like I did last summer, but the real world is calling this year. I'm still healthy and happy and I'm still in a good place, so I really don't need that three-month therapy period. It would still be nice, though... this is one of the best places in the world. Nothing will convince me otherwise.

But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing...

california, here I am.

2008-05-13T00:11:00.003-05:00

Today was my first day back in California for my two-week retreat. So far I've gotten to enjoy a few of the things I miss the most -

- Fresh seafood
- Bartenders who know how to make a real drink
- Sourdough bread
- The San Francisco hills
- My parents, of course!

My flight left Oklahoma City at 6:00 a.m. which was awesome, minus the whole two hours of sleep part. Being a Monday, the airport was packed [as packed as it can be for Oklahoma City] but once we were in the air I was sound asleep, my Bose noise-canceling headphones strapped firmly to my ears filtering in the "sleep" playlist on my iPod.

By the way, I am now convinced that normal-sized airplanes are unable to fly into the OKC airport. The plane for the three hour flight into Los Angeles was tiny, yet the plane that flew me from LA to San Francisco was a 757. Go figure.

I upgraded myself to Economy Plus for my flight to SF [I would have done the same if it were offered en route to LA], and it was worth it. Being fairly claustrophobic I need my space when I fly and my seat going to SF was against the window. The seat in the middle was empty so I was far more comfortable than I was going from OKC to LA. We even got pre-flight orange juice. I felt so important.

Dad picked me up on time in San Francisco and my luggage had already gotten there via an earlier flight, so we were on our way. We chose Spenger's for lunch - it's a great seafood restaurant in Berkeley right on the Bay and as a kid I used to love their shrimp scatter. We stopped in Brennan's for a drink before Spenger's opened. We had lunch at the bar there - a dozen raw oysters on the half-shell, sourdough bread, fried shrimp and fries with malt vinegar. I even had a Absolut Ruby Red and grapefruit juice, and the bartender squeezed the juice at the bar. It tasted fabulous.

After living in the Midwest I now realize that the Bay Area is the only place you can really get sourdough bread. It's like New York bagels - the only good ones come out of lower New York. Seriously, anywhere else and you can't compare. The same goes for sourdough bread - boy, did I take it for granted when I grew up here. Now I can't get enough of it when I come home.

The oysters were amazing. I practically grew up eating weird shellfish; I remember being 10, at my dad's friend's crazy parties, downing barbecued oysters like they were chicken fingers. I tried raw oysters for the first time when I was 16 in Boston at the Union Oyster House [the oldest restuarant in the United States]. And I've sampled from NYC's Oyster Bar's vast menu of half-shell delicacies. So it was really nice getting some good oysters here - you could still taste a bit of the salt water in them. We had sake to drizzle on them, but I preferred them without anything. The sourdough bread in the sake, though, that was tasty.

Tonight we had dinner at Sticky Rice here in Fairfield with my parents and my grandma for a belated Mother's Day dinner. It's so good being home, even though it's only for two weeks. I missed Patty and my cats and being around my parents. I really believe that me living in another state, being married and having my own life has strengthened the bond with my parents. My mom was telling me in the car today, that when I moved to Oklahoma two years ago with my Escort packed full and no marriage license or apartment of our own, it took a lot of guts, regardless of everything going on at that time. That was the best thing I could have heard. It was scary as hell at the time, but we got through it and now we're settled and things are content.

It's going to be a busy two weeks, and I'm completely okay with that. There's so many people I want to see and things I want to do. San Francisco, shopping, movies with Mom, j-kid reunion, party at Flo's, Cloud 9, visiting Dale, visiting with Grandpa and the in-laws... it's just what I need.

he is what he is... and it's beautiful.

2008-05-06T21:52:00.006-05:00

This is the third week in a row that we've seen Jason Castro thrown firmly under a bus. Third. In a row. This is not counting the incident on Larry King Live over a month ago when Randy and Simon pretty much said that Jason didn't deserve to be there and was better off as a "bar singer".

And unfortunately, it seems that the lemmings are catching on to what they say and believing it.

He forgot a line tonight in his performance of Mr. Tambourine Man. He was blasted by a laughing Randy and told by Simon to pack his bags. Because no one ever in the history of Idol has ever forgotten words, right? Never mind the fact that David Archuleta has forgotten lyrics twice in the finals, and the second time no one said a word. When Brooke did her infamous "start and stop" two weeks ago, Simon and Randy called her "brave".

Since PaulaGate last week, when she blasted Jason's second performance before he even sang it [and was set to sing it only minutes after, without any time to regroup], it really seems that TPTB are at their wits end. If Jason being lackluster last week, complete with a dis fest from the judges, couldn't get him kicked off, what's left to do? The judges have already made the talk show circuit saying he's only there because he's cute, that it's only a "popularity contest" [sure, let's let the unpopular one win, because that's what sells records, right?], implied that he doesn't care and wants to go home... it goes on. No apology was mentioned or given to Jason for what happened last week - which, in seven seasons of Idol, has never happened.

And so the dance continues. The "stoner" comments. The "he doesn't care" comments. In all honesty, minus the flubbed lyric, this is the best he's been in weeks. He really went out there and seemed to have an attitude of "they're gonna trash me anyway, I'll sing what I want and what I'm good at and let the chips fall where they may". And for that, good for him. He's experienced John Stevens levels of hatred from the judges and producers and even some of the mainstream media. What short memories they have. He's had two "moment" performances this season and quite a few more very good ones, but now he's the second coming of Sanjaya, this time with more vitriol.

TPTB must be scared. They must be scared out of their bloody minds if they feel that they have to go this far. Simon continued his Jason bashing well into his critique of David A.'s performance [David defended Jason] and Paula had to tell the judges to stop when they were lambasting Jason, Randy laughing the entire time. They really must be scared that Jason has the fanbase and "screw you" vote to potentially carry him into the finale. The boards were ruthless - and to be honest, I don't think people would say the things they do if the judges had been less hateful. He was not horrible tonight, not by a longshot. He sang two songs by legendary singer-songwriters and he did them justice. But that was just too much to ask for, wasn't it?

I give Jason a hell of a lot of credit. He's taken every word of this with very few comments back, still remaining respectful, still plugging along every week. He's resurrected two beloved performances from two deceased singers and brought them back into the public eye in a very positive way. He's been consistent in his style, never "selling out" to the glory-noting ideals of Idol. He's never pandered for votes, either in song selection or in tears. He's been who he was from the beginning - a college kid, strong in his faith and his love for music, who is simply on the ride of his life on Idol. He's been grounded through and through, never letting on that his career would be obsolete if he were voted off. Against every odd stacked against him, he's made the top four on the biggest talent show there is.

I applaud him. I firmly believe that if he gets voted off tomorrow, he will be a force to reckon with. TPTB don't seem to realize just how marketable he is, both in his looks and in his musical style. He has original material that is a joy to listen to. He sounds best when he either doesn't give a shit or when he knows his back is against a wall [the semi-finals notwithstanding]. And for that, I applaud him. In a generation full of entitled fame wannabes, he's the real deal. I can't wait to see what's next for him.

just bring it.

2008-05-05T01:09:00.003-05:00

I'm too tired to go into my "why you should vote for Jason Castro if you want to stick it to The Man" rant at this late hour [it'll come later. Maybe tomorrow], but this week they're doing a Songs That Inspired Rock & Roll theme. Which is all kinds of awesome. They are choosing songs from this list, which is from the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

Based on this list and songs I've heard, here are songs Jason should choose from if he wants to bring it and earn his place in the top 3 [not that it matters to the judges at this point because they all loathe him for some ungodly reason]. If he chooses one of these songs, I proclaim myself either clairvoyant or just a really good judge of what he should sing. He should hire me. Or something.

Ramblin' Man - Allman Brothers Band
House of the Rising Sun - the Animals
God Only Knows - the Beach Boys
More Than a Feeling - Boston
Folsom Prison Blues - Johnny Cash [maybe? He showed his gorgeous lower register last week]
Oh What a Night [December 1963] - the Dells
Tangled Up in Blue - Bob Dylan
Take it Easy - the Eagles
Maybe I'm Amazed - Paul McCartney
Roxanne - Sting and the Police [he's already done Sting once...]
American Girl - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
When Doves Cry - Prince [stripped down all acoustic style]
Sittin' On the Dock of the Bay - Otis Redding [ONLY if he rocks out on the bridge]
Jumpin' Jack Flash - Rolling Stones
The Sound of Silence - Simon and Garfunkel [only if he nails the vocal, has a true moment and backs it up with a balls-out rockin' performance as his other one]
Pride [In the Name of Love] - U2
Pride and Joy - Stevie Ray Vaughan

There are so, so, so many songs on this list he would sound great on ... but he needs to just throw down and lay himself out there on Tuesday. Right now he has nothing to lose - he's been crucified in the media thanks to TPTB - and a hell of a lot to gain.

thoughts whilst listening to a song Jason should sing... consult the lists.

2008-04-28T21:05:00.003-05:00

Since it seems I never really update this anymore unless it's some sort of American Idol thing, here's what's really going on in my life, now that I've completely recovered from surgery and another transition is coming up.

1.) Johan the cat.

He's such a scrappy little thing, but I simply adore him. After I spoke to our leasing agent and got the a-okay to get a kitty, Cindy and I went to the animal shelter so she could get a little friend to keep her company. I wasn't expecting to actually find a cat, but I bonded with this guy who was originally named "Howard". Apparently his former family moved and couldn't take him and he'd only had his name for a few months, so I allowed Patrick to re-name him Johan [a Viking name!] just as long as I could call him Yoyo. And I do.

He's a little bit nuts - he steals Abbie's bed, stalks our flying squirrel, gets the crazies every few hours where he sprints all over the house and causes havoc, and is obsessed with climbing through our mini-blinds. Not to mention he looks like a junkyard cat, all super skinny with a tail bent in two places. But we love him and he's a sweet little kitten when he wants to be. Not to mention, Patrick has a playmate now [Abbie doesn't play... you give her a toy, she stashes it behind the TV. Johan actually steals her toys and plays with them.]

2.) The end of the semester and summer 2008.

So, my first semester at UCO is wrapping up. I'm pretty proud of myself for getting over the hump that is the first real semester back at school after a long time. It wasn't easy getting back into the groove of being a full-time student again, but I did and I'm already enrolled in two classes this summer - Principles of Public Relations and Principles of Advertising. I think one of the hardest obstacles of being new to UCO was not knowing anyone and feeling like the oldest person in many of my classes. I remember SFSU well - I was one of the youngest, even though I was a senior in my very early 20s. Here, I'm the oldest by what seems like at least three years. It's jarring.

3.) The possibility of finding a new job.

My hours were cut at my job - not because of me personally, but because of other not-me related reasons. With that said, even though we're only losing about $50 a week, it adds up because I only worked about 15 hours a week to begin with. But I was getting $9 an hour - incredibly good for this state - and it adds up. I don't want to find a new job. I'm perfectly happy waking up early and having a set schedule, and I really love the kids I work for. I've seen them grow up a lot in the past seven months, especially little Zach who is now walking and eating real food and babbling up a storm. I've grown really attached to the little dudes, and I like their parents a lot, so this isn't easy. But it's only been about two weeks since they cut my hours, and it's starting to show in Patrick's and my finances, so I'm looking for a second job. I have an interview tomorrow afternoon at a tanning salon, and they already phone-interviewed me and they seem interested. It's also a non-chain salon - from the sounds of it, it's a lot like the one I worked at in California... which I still consider to be the best job I've ever had. So I have that to look forward to.

4.) Going back to California for a couple weeks.

I'm seriously excited. I miss my parents and my friends, and I REALLY miss California. Plus I'm not driving this time! I'll actually go from Oklahoma to California in the span of one morning! That alone is worth raving about. It's going to be a really crammed two weeks, but it looks like I'll get to see most of my friends and my in-laws, and Mom and I already have a nice trip to San Francisco planned [I have to get some clam chowder in a bread bowl and some clam strips]. Patrick will be in Airmen Leadership School, so he'll be here watching Abbie and Yoyo. And I'll get to watch the top 3 and season finale of American Idol with Mom - we won't have to do the three-hours behind recap over the phone. With that said...

5.) The American Idol top 5... and onward.

If the massive bus-throwing and depimping of Jason last week on Idol couldn't derail him from the show, I don't know what will. I really believe at this point he'll make top 3. It amazed me how they turned him from "serious dark horse contender for the finale" to "Sanjaya 2.0" in the course of seven days, but they managed to. So not only is his [ginormous and highly organized] fanbase pissed, they're also coming up to Neil Diamond week which is a perfect fit for Jason. I see good things coming. And if something happens... well, David Cook is also pretty damn awesome. I can see him winning, and it'd be cool.

So even on weird days like today where I'm convinced we'll be in debt forever or I'll never find someone to fix my damn cell phone or I feel like this semester will NEVER end... I know that there are good things coming. And a trip home is exactly what I need to get re-energized for the next few crazy months. And because I am such a camera-whore, here are two fun shots from this month...

My mom gets me chocolate ladybugs instead of chocolate bunnies for Easter. That's love.

Why am I a full head taller than both Julie AND Cindy? I have no idea... it was probably the heels that made me about as tall as Patrick. Oh well. We had a great time at CityWalk for Cindy's and my birthday, despite me still being on painkillers.

A plea for Jason Castro. Version 2.0

2008-04-22T21:51:00.004-05:00

A week after Jason Castro proved to America and the judges that he deserved a spot in the top 3 of American Idol 7, it's now do or die time for Jason and his fans.

I'm thoroughly convinced that some of these guest mentors on Idol this season have serious dirt against the Idol producers [who will be hereby referred to as The Powers That Be, or TPTB], because these have to be some of the most narrow theme weeks they've ever done. Dolly Parton? Mariah Carey? Neil Diamond? [in a week] And this week, Andrew Lloyd Webber? Why not just do a simple "country", "90s" or hell, even just a "Broadway" theme? They say the idea is to ensure that the winner can be as musically diverse as possible, but this is just ridiculous. Anyway...

The buzz all week was that Jason got his number one pick for the theme this week, beating out two or three others who wanted it. There was also buzz that this weekend he got rather sick and was resting as much as possible and was also on antibiotics. In prior weeks this season they made a note of contestants who were sick and not performing up to par [Ramiele, Kristy Lee, Carly] but surprisingly tonight there was no mention. Of course, no one knows whether that was at the discretion of Jason or if TPTB are beginning their bus-throwing-under mechanisms, but I'm willing to lean toward the latter.

So the song he chose was Memory from Cats, probably one of the most overwrought diva Broadway ballads in existence. I had faith in him that he could pull it off with his capability to believe every word he sings and project that onto people watching. As he sang, it was clear that he was still feeling under the weather. It was also not his best performance, though his face made it so incredibly clear how he did feel the lyrics, as heartbreaking as they are. In my opinion, he showed that he didn't need to have the glory-noting voice to pull the song off. His voice wasn't as strong as it's been, but he made up for it in his delivery.

Based on the reactions from Randy and Simon, you'd have thought that Jason took a hacksaw and dismembered the song and walked off the stage waving both middle fingers. Randy seemed all too pleased to deliver his review, which he considered a "trainwreck". Simon compared it to a child whose parents make him sing for them. Of course, when Brooke stops singing in the middle of her second lyric and then starts shaking more than a chihuahua in 30 degree weather, they write it off and call it a "brave" move because she forgot her lyrics. Hint: it's not "brave" to forget your lyrics on national television, it's horribly unprofessional.

With six Idols left and a pattern of males and females leaving one after the other [leaving an even ratio of guys to girls], the general consensus on the wonderful world of the Internet is that Jason could leave tomorrow. Which, in all honesty, would be a terrible disservice to what he's accomplished on the show. He's risen from unseen cannon fodder to become a contestant who, through sheer growth, smart song choices and emotional connection, has become an ideal for the top 3 this year. And I think that scares the hell of TPTB. It's been whitewashed all over every square inch of the media that this is to be the Year of the Davids and the finale would not be the same without both Davids in it. At this point the remaining females are expendable - but Jason in the top 3, with his fanbase and his uncanny ability to pick songs that people admire, could give either of them a run for their money if they have an off night.

So despite the momentum Jason has built since his bottom 3 appearance several weeks ago, once again we the "get rid of Jason" bus backing up, gears grinding with Randy Jackson behind the wheel. TPTB don't like contestants who throw a wrench in their master plan; they made damn sure Elliott Yamin stayed out of the finals when he hit top 3 in his season, and now he's one of best-selling Idol also-rans. Instead of the producers seeing their errors in losing grasp of a versatile and talented contestant, they're repeating old mistakes and doing their best to alienate a contestant who truly deserves to be there. They're looking to oust him in favor of someone who can belt glory notes, someone who thinks loud is the new good. The only person remaining who I think would equal Jason in album sales is David Cook - he's charismatic and relevant. David Archuleta and his "Up With People" inspirational wheelhouse is not relevant unless you listen to Christian rock - which is why I can't figure out why they want this kid to win so badly.

Everything we saw tonight points to TPTB trying to get rid of Jason now in a weak moment before he pulls out another Over the Rainbow or Hallelujah. They know that when he's on, he is most definitely on. It's not a coincidence that both Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah and Brotha Iz's Over the Rainbow shot up the iTunes charts after Jason performed them. He's smart and he has a gift in the way he takes the songs he sings and conveys them to the general populace. Tonight, there was no mention of his illness, no attempt [other than from Paula] to give him some sort of constructive criticism regarding his vocals. It was simply seen as a "trainwreck" - when in all actuality, Brooke's performance after him was so unprofessional that she should be removed on merit of her false start alone. Simon doesn't have any mercy for singers who forget their lyrics at the Hollywood or semi-final level, yet he forgives it at this stage in the game. They want Jason out of there, and they weren't about to let Brooke's error clear the way for him to get through to another week where he could outperform most of the remaining Idols.

Touch me, it's so easy to leave me,
All alone with the memory of my days in the sun
If you touch me, you'll understand what happiness is
Look... a new day has begun.

help... I'm suffering from cabin fever.

2008-04-12T23:20:00.003-05:00

I had my sinus surgery on Thursday, and I'm glad to say that I think it was a success - at least that's what my doctor told me. They didn't have to do the septoplasty, which is good because that would have meant even more pain and a huge splint inside my nose. But they did a number on my sinuses, which is why they gave me a bottle of Lortabs and said "call if you need more".

Patrick and I got to Midwest Regional early on Thursday and they put me in my own small room. It had a TV so while I waited for my anesthesiologist, I turned on the Today Show and let my nurse install an IV that has left a huge bruise on my right arm. My anesthesiologist was a cool guy who gave me something to relax me before they knocked me out. As he pushed my gurney to the OR, he asked me how fast the room was spinning and the last thing I remember was a frighteningly huge room, getting to wear a "special hat" as they called it and seeing a weird yellowish-green vial in front of my face that I managed to remark "that's the stuff that the Green Goblin took in Spider-Man" before I blacked out.

As I came to after the surgery, I remember crying because my face was in massive pain and I was horribly confused. I didn't know where Patrick was and I really just wanted some kind of comfort, which I wasn't getting in a large room full of similarly recovering patients. They wouldn't give me water right away, even though my mouth was so dry I could kill, but once they got me back to my room they gave me semi-frozen apple juice and a Demerol drip that knocked me into an actual sleep instead of a coma.

Patrick was about to chew off his arm, so he went down to the cafeteria and had some lunch [which he bragged about to me later because he knew I was on a liquid diet], and my nurse gave me a Hunts snack pack that was totally different from the "real" Jello I buy - this kind was like a giant cube of gelled-over orange-flavored sugar but I was starving so I tried to eat it without falling asleep inbetween bites. I noticed at this point that my nose was bleeding so I tried to keep it from getting all over my blankets while trying to eat... that was a feat. Finally they let me have water and I drank it entirely too quickly. Luckily I didn't have the nausea they thought I might have, but I was finding it impossible to pee, which was similarly frustrating.

Around the time they were getting ready to release me, my doctor came in with me prescriptions saying that if I needed more than 30 Lortabs in seven days to just call and he'd hook me up. It's so nice to have a doctor who doesn't think that I'm going to turn into a cracked-out hydrocodone addict because of this. Once I was home I tried to take a nap but my mouth kept drying out and I had to replace the rolled-up tissue in my nose every 10 minutes so it definitely wasn't easy. I kept inhaling blood into my mouth and I was beginning to resemble a vampire. I didn't know what was worse - being so groggy that I could barely keep my eyes open, or not being able to sleep without being woken up by constant discomfort.

Cindy came over that night and we watched "American Idol" and I was way too out of it to really care all that much that Michael Johns was voted off, even though he was my 3rd favorite Idol behind Jason Castro and David Cook. I also tried to watch The Office but thankfully I Tivo'ed it because I could not figure out what the hell was going on.

So now it's been two days since my surgery and I'm feeling a bit better. I still have the burning pain from the gel pack they put in my nose, so I'm stuck taking Lortabs and feeling like a zombie with periodic Tourette's Syndrome. I never thought I'd say that I'm tired of this constant high and relaxed feeling, but I am SO over it. Thankfully I have an awesome humidifier from when I had bronchitis a couple months ago so it keeps my room feeling like a general rainforest and I can breathe at night without wanting to die. I only have to work one day next week because the kiddos are both getting their own surgeries, but I have three days of school and two exams and a professor who needs to be dealt with in a manner which will allow me to pass the class despite me getting all As and Bs so far. Long story. Do not want to explain. It's going to be a weird week.

But at least I'm not bleeding and vampirey anymore. That was really weird.

I need to make a career out of this, seriously.

2008-04-09T00:20:00.004-05:00

I mean, for real. I so could do it, right? Has anyone ever made a career out of choosing songs for American Idol contestants? I could totally do it. Jason Castro: email me plz kthnx.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow, the version by IZ, was one of my "possibly unpopular" song choices for Jason to sing this week in my last blog. No one else that I'd seen had recommended it for him, but I've loved this version for ages [it was the father-daughter dance at my wedding] and after listening to it again a few times, I realized that Jason could have a moment with it and quite easily get the judges back in his back pocket.

I was right. Wow. I seriously didn't think Jason would choose this song, I thought he might go for Shelter by Ray LaMontagne [his favorite artist according to his AI profile] or something more lowkey. This was indeed lowkey, but dear lord, did he have a moment with it. As he sang in his usual simple yet gorgeous voice, accompanied only by his playing of the ukulele and minimal string background, he had the audience transfixed. Even the Mosh Bitchez were quiet, not clapping along or swaying like I thought they might. And it worked. Every element of it worked. And the judges loved it. Simon called it "fantastic" with a huge grin and even Randy, who after his scathing comments on Jason last night on Larry King Live, said Jason was "back" and it was the best performance of the night, easily. After hearing the rest, I can easily say that despite my bias, it remained so.

Watch it. It's beautiful. I think that after this, if he keeps this up, he could go quite far. Possibly top 3 if any of the "favorites" start to falter.

And now... seriously, I do have more to say that doesn't relate to Jason Castro or American Idol, I swear. I'm getting my surgery on Thursday morning and I'm actually kind of nervous about it. I've been under general anesthesia before and that's not my concern, I'm just worried about what kind of pain and/or discomfort I'm going to be under after it's finished. I really hope they actually give me a decent painkiller after it's all done... I know doctors are uber-concerned about people getting hooked and all, but seriously, my doctor told me it's a 5-7 day recovery period... I'm gonna need some sort of relief from the discomfort of having crap padded up my nose.

So, wish me luck, y'all. I'm sure I'll post some sort of blog after it's all done. No guarantee on how coherent it'll be.

what inspires you?

2008-04-05T22:25:00.007-05:00

"Y'know, I was thinking today and even though I compared Jason to Bo in a recent blog, the more I think about it the more I think Jason could be the "Elliott" of Season 5. Both came out of nowhere to do amazingly in the semi-finals, complete with high praise from Simon. Both "faltered" a bit in the beginning of the finals; Elliott was in the bottom 3 a few times and started to get the classic de-pimp from Simon. He rarely got the pimp spot - I think he only got it once, in the top 10 when he sang "I Don't Wanna Be". I don't think anyone really expected Elliott to outlast Daughtry, Kellie, Mandisa, even Paris or Ace. But he kept getting better and better. His fanbase was huge and people began to see that he really was a contender, especially after "A Song for You" and Elvis night. I think that there's a strong possibility that if Jason really steps it up and his "softer side" is shown more in clips, he'll not only pick up casual voters but people outside his core fanbase will start talking. YMMV, of course, but I think it's entirely possible. TPTB may not have wanted Elliott to go as far as he did, but he and Daughtry are two of the most successful Idols to come out of Season 5. Either they can learn from their depimping mistakes, or they'll try even harder with Jason to ensure that this doesn't get out of their hands."

Question: [tm Dwight Schrute] When did my blog become one big Jason Castro lovefest?

I have no idea.

I posted the above quote over at Castrocopia, which is probably the best Jason / American Idol fansite for the mature viewer. They love how gorgeous and swoonworthy Jason is, but they also provide adult perspectives on his performances and his future as both an Idol contestant and a recording artist.

After puttering around Idol Forums where many people were offering song ideas for the contestants for next week's "inspirational" theme, I realized that not only were most of the songs not even overly "inspirational" [many of them were cheesy love songs], but that I must be in the minority in my ideas for songs Jason would do amazing with. First things first: he HAS to have a moment this week. Whether it's done by singing something up-tempo, well-known or both, he has to do a bit of pandering to the judges and the casual viewer if he wants to remain in the game. While many people think he should stick to what he's been doing - earthy, acoustic folky songs - I don't think I'm alone when I say he needs to sing something that is both true to his style and will also pull in the ordinary non-Castro fan. He did this easily with Hallelujah in the last round of the semi-finals, Daydream in his first performance of the semi's, and even last week to a point. With Michael Johns having stepped up his game, Syesha pulling out the big guns last week, Kristy Lee being in her "Amazing Grace" element this week, David Cook getting better and better, and David Archuleta still coasting readily, he cannot afford to try something low-key, no matter how true to his style it is. I believe that he can go mainstream and still be Jason.

My Quite Possibly Unpopular Ideas on an Inspirational Song Choice:

1.) Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own - U2
I wasn't familiar with this song until I heard it in some of the Idol Gives Back video clips. After downloading it and listening to it on a loop for close to an hour, I realized how much I love it. It's more "rock" than "folk" and what I think many viewers forget is that Jason was in a rock band before Idol. I've always thought Bono's vocals were within Jason's range, and I was irritated when he didn't do a song from the Joshua Tree album on "Year You Were Born" week. This song may not be as pandering as some inspirational song choices, but the vocal track is insanely passionate and he could hit that high range that he's been known to do well. He could even go without the guitar and have a true moment with this, as it's both a current song and one that's tied into the IGB theme. No one else has suggested this for him... but I think he could do very, very well with it.

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches for you tonight...
Listen to me now,
I need to let you know,
You don't have to go it alone...

2.) Everybody Hurts - REM
This is such a well-known song, and many see it as fairly depressing, but if you look at the lyrics,
it's actually very "inspirational" in the whole "hang on, you're not alone" aspect. It would also
allow Jason to use more of his voice, which is a necessity at this point in the game. I think the
fact that just about everyone alive knows this song would help him - it helped Syesha last week.

If you're on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on

Well everybody hurts, sometimes, everybody cries
And everybody hurts ... sometimes
So hold on...

3.) We Shall Be Free - Garth Brooks
[This is not a link to the music video, but it's the only video I could find with this song]
This is a classic "inspirational" country song that's not very well-known, but is upbeat and I've
said before that Jason's range is very similar to that of Garth Brooks. If he comes out and uses
his whole voice with this, he could do very well with it, especially if he puts plenty of emotion and
passion into it.

When the last child cries for the crust of bread
When the last man dies for just words that he said,
When there's shelter over the poorest head,
Then we shall be free

When the last thing we notice is the color of skin,
And the first thing we look for is the beauty within,
When the skies and the oceans are clean again,
Then we shall be free...

4.) Closer to Fine - Indigo Girls
This has always been one my favorite songs, of all time. And I think that even though it's more
about finding yourself than about helping others, it still fits well into the "inspirational"
wheelhouse. It's got staples of what Jason is known for - folksy lyrics and plenty of acoustic guitar-
but he'd have to really use his voice here. It's got plenty of passion behind it and he could have the
moment he needed with it. It's also the Indigo Girls most well-known song.

Well, darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket,
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it,
I’m crawling on your shores...

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains,
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
There’s more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source for some definitive,
The closer I am to fine.

5.) Somewhere Over the Rainbow - IZ
Simon has said more than once that he loves this song - and the fact that he loves Jeff Buckley's
version of Hallelujah, which Jason sang, helped him get the glowing review he did. And as much
as I hate to admit it, a great deal of casual voters go by what Simon says. This version of "Over
the Rainbow" is very acoustic and if Jason uses more of his voice in his version than is used in the
IZ version, I believe he could get glowing reviews. Hey, it worked for Katharine McPhee.

Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops thats where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
And the dream that you dare to,
Why, oh why can't I?

Here are some of the songs people elsewhere have been suggesting for Jason that could also work -

One Love - Bob Marley
Waiting on the World to Change - John Mayer
What's Going On - Marvin Gaye
Pride [In the Name of Love] - U2
Angels - Robbie Williams
Lean on Me - Bill Withers

And just to prove that I'm not just watching American Idol this season for Jason, here are my
off-the-cuff ideas for the other contestants -

David Archuleta: Hero by Mariah Carey
David Cook: If Everyone Cared by Nickelback
Michael Johns: A Change is Gonna Come by Sam Cooke
Carly Smithson: Beautiful by Christina Aguilera
Kristy Lee Cook: I Will Remember You by Amy Grant
Syesha Mercado: Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston
Brooke White: You've Got a Friend by Carole King

A plea for Jason Castro

2008-04-01T23:21:00.004-05:00

As people who read this blog may know, I am a ginormously huge Jason Castro fan. Huge. It's almost unhealthy. I voted for him over 100 times last week and I haven't voted at ALL since Elliott Yamin in season 5 [and then it was hit and miss]. I think I stopped breathing for the entire minute and a half he was in the bottom 3 last week. Granted, I think that Jason needed to be in the bottom 3. He was beginning to coast on his gorgeous eyes, swoon-worthy persona and previous performances that had the judges cheering. Not to mention, unless this season's Idols are completely sequestered from the outside world, he has to know that he's been something of a media darling and fangirl target.

Tonight he did a fantastic job singing Travelin' Thru for Dolly Parton week. It's one of her newer songs and it was nominated for an Oscar for the film Transamerica. It's fairly upbeat and has a steady Christian undertone, which was good for Jason because he's a churchgoing Christian. I don't think he coasted at all. Paula loved him, even Randy gave him props, but Simon dismissed him. In the past, Simon has actually given Jason constructive criticism, especially last week when he said Jason was really very good and needed to step it up if he wanted to stick around. Tonight, Simon simply said, "Sorry, not good enough."

After reading forums and posts by people who admit to not being huge Castro fans, it seems that Simon was in the minority with his thoughts. Jason was indeed very good - the song he chose was ideal for his style of music and it was his best performance since he nailed Hallelujah.

I want Jason to do well in this competition for a multitude of reasons. As a long-time Idol watcher [since season one], there's never been a contestant like him. I liken him to Bo Bice in season 4 in many ways; in the semi-finals, he was amazing. Bo came out of nowhere and completely blew everyone else away. In the finals, he began to coast until he hit the bottom 2 in the top 8 and the judges [and producers] had a mini-intervention, where they asked him if he really wanted to win. After that, he did amazingly. Last week felt like an intervention of sorts for Jason, after three weeks of performances that weren't up to par with what he did in the semi's. Not only did he truly look scared out of his wits to be in the bottom three, but once he was sent back to the couches, he had a look of humility where he seemed to realize that he'd just dodged a bullet.

Could it be a form of stage fright? Perhaps. He's admitted that prior to Idol, he'd only sung in front of a crowd about five times. He flourished in the semi-finals, but that was on a much smaller stage and he had less to lose. Could it be subtle de-pimping? I wouldn't hold it past the producers. His mike sounded as though it were turned down tonight [whereas in the end-of-the-show recap, which shows the performances from the dress rehearsals, he sounded much louder] and that's never a good sign for a contestant. He also likely shares the votes of David Archuleta and David Cook - the two most prominent "chosen ones" for this season. He shares David A.'s fangirl vote, and David C.'s musician vote. Both of which Jason has in spades.

Regardless of the fact that I think Jason is absolutely beautiful [a term I don't often reserve for men, but in all seriousness, the young man inherited some amazing genes], I think he's an unpolished talent who, with the cooperation of the producers and the coaches, could do incredibly well in this competition. He has people talking - not only because of his ubiquitous dreads or his screaming fans, but because of his risky song choices and unusual musical ability. He is a true musician - not a belter, not a popstar. When all is said and done, his style of music is currently one of the most lucrative at this point in time. He's the one performer who I eagerly look forward to seeing what he can pull out, week by week.

With that said [at the encouragement of Flo who thinks I'm very comprehensive in my thoughts about Jason], here are some songs I think Jason would kill on, per theme weeks and songwriter's rights.

God Only Knows - the Beach Boys. I personally think a Beach Boys theme week would be fantastic. This song has a wistful quality and is upbeat enough to not bore the casual viewer. Not to mention, the song has been commonly heard in popular culture in the past few years.

The Luckiest - Ben Folds. If by some fluke chance we discovered Jason could play piano, this would be a great song for him. It's passionate and would have the fangirls spontaneously combusting.

Hook - Blues Traveler. I think John Popper's voice is right within Jason's range. This is a song where he could show off his rocker side and vocal range with the acoustic guitar.

Accidentally in Love - Counting Crows. If they ever do a 21st century theme week this year and Jason opts out of the coffeehouse vibe, this would be a GREAT song for him. Not only is it highly recognizable, but Adam Duritz also has a similar range to Jason. It's also upbeat enough to keep the judges off his back.

Callin' Baton Rouge - Garth Brooks. He's another vocalist whose range Jason could nail. If they had done a straight "country" week he could have done this song with the on-stage fiddler's with his guitar and done amazingly well. I've been listening to it a lot lately and the more I hear it, the more I can envision Jason doing well on it.

Patience - Guns 'n Roses. I remember when Bucky, Ace, Daughtry and Elliott sung this on the AI5 tour - it was my first time hearing it, and I fell in love with the song. Sure, it falls into the slower song mode that he's been criticized for doing too often, but it's a Guns 'n Roses song. Not exactly coffeehouse / dorm room vibe. It's a beautiful song and I don't know how they'd successfully cut it down to two minutes, but he'd do well on it and I'd probably vote my fingers to the bone if he did.

You and I Both - Jason Mraz. This Jason is probably the singer I think Jason should try to emulate - wistful, mellow and often acoustic, but never boring. This would be a great song fo emphasize his range.

Waiting on the World to Change - John Mayer. If they do another "inspirational" them, this would be right up Jason's wheelhouse. He's been compared often to John Mayer, who's such a popular recording artist right now, and he could very well do it justice.

Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey. If they do a Mariah theme week - which could easily happen because she's a mentor this season - this would be the perfect song for Jason. It doesn't have as many vocal acrobatics as most of her songs and it could be another "Daydream" moment for him if he lets his personality shine through.

With or Without You - U2. I'm still peeved that he didn't sing this last week. Maybe they couldn't get the rights, who knows. But this could have potentially been another "moment" song for him if he nailed Bono's vocals. It's a popular song and he has the range to pull it off.

Other songs he could do well -

Ramblin' Man - Allman Brothers Band
Piazza, New York Catcher - Belle & Sebastian
River of Dreams - Billy Joel
Alcohol - Brad Paisley [yeah right, they'd never allow that song on family-friendly Idol]
Green Eyes - Coldplay [the husband used to sing this to me, so I'd have to vote the full two hours if he sang this one]
More Than Words - Extreme
Lightning Crashes - Live
Let My Love Open the Door - Pete Townshend
Solsbury Hill - Peter Gabriel
When the Stars Go Blue - Tim McGraw [I like the Ryan Adams original better, but this version would be better suited for him and for the casual voter]
One - U2 [another good "inspirational" week song for him]

To conclude: Don't give up on Jason. Based on tonight, he hasn't given up at all, even if it seems the producers have. He's got potential in spades and if he keeps stepping his work up and gains more personal confidence, he could walk away with this. Maybe.

When in Rome.

2008-04-01T09:29:00.003-05:00

At the end of April I'll be turning 25. It's actually kind of a scary thought. I'm still in college and will be for another year, I'm still renting, the only real career points on my resume are unpaid college experience, I'm free of children of the two-legged variety, and we're still in Oklahoma. I feel like I should have done more, like my expiration date is looming and there's nothing I can do about it.

But that's ridiculous, I hear from several different angles; family, friends, husband, people I barely know. Twenty-five is still young. Forty is the new thirty. And so on and so forth. I'm sure that's all true and everything but I still feel like I should know better than to be where I am.

I digress. The weekend of the 18th my friends and I are doing a huge joint birthday fiesta with my friend Cindy at CityWalk. Her birthday is actually on the 18th and because she has a harder time getting days off than I do, we're celebrating on that weekend. Which is totally fine with me. Julie is the "social chair" of our little AWACS circle and with her word of mouth plus the people Cindy and I know together, it should be quite awesome.

I feel like I should be doing something else for my birthday. Something more "grown-up" than going to a huge club with my husband and twenty of our closest friends, downing Redheaded Slut shots and $2 vodka Red Bulls. When I think about it, I wonder if living here has regressed me. In college I lived in a more metropolitan area, and the options for better fine dining and more adult nightlife were there in spades. But Oklahoma City - and Patrick's and my joint income - doesn't exactly allow us to spend our extra money on expensive bistros or $10 lemon drop martinis.

We do what we can. We've been living together nearly two years, and we understand the value of living on a budget and what you can do with it. I don't need to feel validated going to dinner at a four-star restaurant for my birthday because it's supposedly "age-appropriate" or because it's what everyone else is doing. Keeping up with the Jones' may seem enticing, but all it'll do is make you feel like you aren't good enough. So instead, we kill our $3 Kamikaze shots at CityWalk, toast each other to being one more year older and we don't let society's expectations of what trendy young adults do run our lives. Besides, I can't get my hopes up too high. This is Oklahoma City; it's not exactly the lower East Side of Manhattan. We just follow that old adage... when in Rome.

Open letter to the American Idol top 10

2008-03-25T20:34:00.003-05:00

Dear Ramiele:

It's not in your best interest to sing a song that Carrie Underwood is still known for nailing, three years later. It's basically the song that won AI4 for her. Don't bother trying. Also: quit the little girl act. Even though you don't look it, you're a 20-year-old woman. Act it.

Sincerely,
Someone who thinks you're better than you've been.

Dear Jason:

As much as I adore you and want to have your half-Colombian stoner babies, PLEASE sing something different. This whole "dreamy guy in a dorm room" meets "coffeehouse boho" vibe works for you, but it's getting... boring. While you performed well tonight, the song you chose plus your placement did you no favors. Please show us how good you really are, because you're one of the best left. Don't keep cruising on those baby blues and that Hallelujah performance, k?

Love,
Someone who thinks you're not only super hawt, but super talented.

Dear Syesha:

Didn't you hear? Last season was the year of the divas, as was Season 3. They don't need you. You're boring. And that song was almost as predictable as a Whitney song from you would have been.

Signed,
Someone who doesn't care about your glory notes.

Dear Chikesie:

I like you. I like you even more after the two weeks of the Beatles. That said, don't regress back to the Luther-esque old school ballads. Please. You can do so much better, and whatever it was you sang tonight - I can't remember - was boring as hell.

Yours,
Someone who thinks you could be a good combination between Ruben Studdard and Taylor Hicks.

Dear Brooke:

Thank you for going back to what you're good at, for showing everyone that good does not always equal loud. Seriously. Props.

Sincerely,
Someone who thinks you could make top 3 if you keep doing well.

Dear Michael:

You proved that basically, the only songs you can really do well are Queen songs. Nice. Please prove me wrong next week, because you're really hot and you really can sing well.

Love,
Someone who thinks you could be the next Ace Young unless you step it up.

Dear Carly:

STOP SCREAMING AT ME! Seriously! Just. Stop. Enough. We get it. You're destined to be a "star". Newsflash: not everyone with a good voice can really make it in the recording industry. Get over it, lighten the hell up, and please quit yelling at everyone.

Signed,
Someone who thinks you're severely overrated.

Dear David Arugula:

It's painfully obvious that your stage dad chose your song, and it's a damn good thing that Simon basically called you out on that. Just because you can sing doesn't mean you should win this thing. Also: you look about 14, how the hell are you a teen heartthrob? Sheesh.

Yours,
Someone who thinks you should boot the stage parents and do your own thing for once.

Dear Kristy Lee:

Good job on the song choice - I mean, if you're gonna pander to the red-state country voters, may as well go all the way, right? Seriously, is it 1991 again? God Bless the USA? With two immigrants in this competition, the irony of that just kills me. Please just go.

Signed,
Someone who thinks you got lucky with the judge's comments tonight.

Dear David Cook:

If it weren't for my unhealthy adoration of Jason Castro, I'd be voting for you. That. Was. Awesome. Keep bringing the pretty and the talent. You don't need my votes anyway.

Love,
Someone who thinks you could win this whole damn thing, period.

I have a deviated septum... not the kind you hear about in Us Weekly.

2008-03-24T16:46:00.005-05:00

Tricare Prime really is a fabulous thing. In exchange for having to live in the worst part of the Midwest, we get some of the best health care I've ever had. Tricare certainly has its detractors, but after two emergency room stints and numerous appointments with specialists all covered by it, I can't stop raving about how good we have it.

On April 10, I'll be having sinus septoplasty. I'll be under general anesthesia and the procedure shouldn't take more than a few hours, after which I'll be able to go home. Patrick's taking the 10th and 11th off [Thursday and Friday] and then he'll drive me to school the following Monday because I have two exams. Thankfully, my employer understands having nose problems [both of her children have seen ENT doctors lately] and I'll have the time off that I need.

A bit of background: I've always had trouble breathing through my nose, especially at night. I had a feeling I had a deviated septum and that my breathing might be in some way related to me getting congested in my ears easily and my proneness to getting strep throat. I went to Flight Med last fall to get a referral to an ENT doctor and this month I finally got around to seeing one. He could see I had a deviated septum, but sent me to Midwest Regional for CAT scans. Once those were back [I just thought it was cool to see my brain on paper, thus confirming to my parents that I really do have a brain], he could see that not only do I have a fairly deviated septum, I also have infected sinus tissue that could have quite a bit to do with my breathing problems. In all honesty, the doctor used a lot of medical terminology that made me wish I'd still remembered all I learned in college biology, but I was able to understand the gist of it by looking at my CAT scans.

He gave me the option of surgery. I was told that I could continue on anti-biotic nasal sprays and antihistamines or I could get the surgery. I may still need those medications after surgery, but it would be different from having to chronically use them. I talked it over with Patrick and we decided that as long as Tricare covered it, I really don't have anything to lose by this. I'm a tough cookie when it comes to bouncing back - when I got my wisdom teeth out, they had to give me general anesthesia and I was back in school the next day. I think I only took one of the Vicodin they gave me [of course, I ended up using some of it a few months later when I had tonsillitis and then Dale ended up stealing the rest]. So hopefully, with the surgery falling on a Thursday, I can take it easy on the weekend and hopefully be okay on Monday. At least okay enough to take a couple of exams.

So for anyone who's read my Facebook, MySpace or Twitter updates, this is the nose surgery I'm getting, and no, it's not rhinoplasty. In fact, if they mess with how my nose looks, I'll be pissed.

Wish me luck! Thankfully, I've never had a problem with needles, and if the kinds of piercings I've had indicates my pain tolerance, I'll be okay.

American Idol drivel. Longish.

2008-03-18T21:05:00.004-05:00

This year, more than any other year I think, I'm full-on crazy addicted to American Idol. I don't know what it is - maybe it's the surplus of amazing guy singers, considering that I've always been more partial to the male contestants because they tend to offer something different.

Anyway, here's my take on the Top 11 performers, based on last week and tonight, when they performed songs by The Beatles. [if you watch this show and haven't watched tonight, consider reading this later]. This is in no particular order.

1.) David Archuleta. This kid is what many on the Idol forums and sites consider this season's chosen one. Barring some kind of epic disaster performance [other than last week] or his teenybopper fans simply growing complacent, he's gonna win this thing. I think that's usually my major gripe with this show, despite the fact that I get hooked every year - the producers have their favorite, and the judges and the media are their mouthpiece. Anyway. Last week he completely butchered one of the Beatles' more commonly known songs, We Can Work it Out. He forgot half the words, wandered aimlessly around the stage, and generally looked like someone upstairs wasn't pulling the right puppet strings. This kid is the plantiest of producer plants, for serious. He's generally marketable - he's non-threateningly cute, has a great voice and will tap into the whole High School Musical / Zac Efron / Jonas Brothers market that's so hot right now. But last week he absolutely epically failed. So of course, tonight he had his redemption, so to speak. He sang The Long and Winding Road and sounded quite good, complete with years-of-experience vocal inflections and Star Search-esque lighting. I can't help it, I'm biased and I see behind the whole act. He's got a great voice, but there are far better and more interesting performers this season and I can't figure out why, of all the contestants they've got right now, they have to already coronate the damn kid.

2.) Jason Castro. I posted a blog about this kid a couple weeks ago, and I think he has this totally aloof star quality that, if done well, will take him all the way to the bitter end. He's tapped into the college-dorm with an acoustic guitar, Jack Johnson meets Jason Mraz vibe that seems to be growing in popularity among the major circuits. His iTunes sales say it all - two of his performances have already tapped the top 10 in Idol performances, and his performance of Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah in the top 16 week brought that song, released in the early 90s, to the top of the iTunes charts. He has the "It" factor. Not to mention, he looks like a freaking angel, despite his ubiquitous dreads. The piercing blue eyes, soul-melting smile and earthy, ethereal voice... okay, yeah, I'm biased but if the Internet is any indicator, teenage girls and older women alike are bloody over the moon for this 21-year-old. With that said, however, I believe right now he's coasting. He got amazing reviews from Simon, of all people, when he performed in the semi-finals, despite not having that glory-noting voice that most Idols have. Last week he performed If I Fell, which was absolutely beautiful but also somewhat felt like a lesser version of his performance of Hallelujah the week before. Tonight, he ditched the acoustic guitar, performed Michelle and even nailed the French parts. He also seemed to connect with the audience more than he had before. This time the judges weren't as nice as they had been [I don't think Randy likes him at all, Simon sees him as an obvious moneymaker and a media darling and Paula's just smitten] but based on his previous performances [as well as tonight's, which was unique in its own right], he'll be safe. I would really, really love to see him perform something that allows him to use his voice more - he's got it, I just hope he realizes he does and pulls off something amazing. Too bad they can't get the rights for Crazy by Gnarls Barkley - apparently he nailed it in the Hollywood rounds.

3.) Brooke White. I see her as something of a counterpart to Jason's earthy, folksy singer-songwriter performer. Up until tonight, she's been nearly flawless. In the top 16 she performed an acoustic version of Love is a Battlefield which was surprisingly very good. Last week she played piano along with Let it Be, one of the most well-known and beloved Beatles songs I know of. This week she ditched the instrument and sang Here Comes the Sun, which is a great song but not necessarily a singer's song. Unfortunately she sounded fairly off and not as well as she had been. However, everyone I know thinks she's great - better than most of the other women there. I think she, like Jason, offers something absolutely different and wonderful to the competition and it wouldn't be the same without either of them. Both will go far as long as they continue to choose songs that emphasize their strengths.

4.) Carly Smithson. Straight up? I don't like her. I won't deny that she has a fantastic voice, perhaps that's why in 2001 MCA Records spend over $1 million producing and releasing an album and a music video for her. Too bad it failed epically and only sold around 370 copies... Not to mention the little overlooked fact that Randy Jackson, one of the Idol judges, was a producer at MCA during the time her album was produced. Nepotism, much? Many sites, especially Vote for the Worst, have uncovered many truths that were casually skimmed over, considering she seems to be one of the "chosen ones" this season. This seems to be the season of the "producer plants", what with David Archuleta, Michael Johns, Kristy Lee Cook and Carly all having quite a bit of professional experience before Idol. But that's a whole other story that I'll save for later. Last week she performed Come Together which she said she was going to "switch up", although she really didn't, unless you count the fact that she sang in a key that was entirely too high and she ended up sounding shrill. This week she sang Blackbird, one of my favorite Beatles' songs, and she did sound good, but she's got a serious disconnect with the audience that could wind up hurting her. However, if the judges / producers have anything to say about it, she's the second coming of Kelly Clarkson [isn't there one of those EVERY year?]. Meanwhile, I'll sit over here and root for the true amateurs, the ones who don't proclaim in interviews, "I want this more than over half of the people here". [sorry, no link to the video, check EW online or AI dot com].

5.) David Cook. I really like this guy. He's got a ton of charisma - more than Daughtry did in his season - and he just keeps putting out fantastic performances. Patrick thinks he looks like Jared Leto, but I think he looks like a slimmer, far more attractive Philip Seymour Hoffman. I think my issues with him don't necessarily lie with him, but with the judges' reaction to him. He's constantly praised for his innovative performances - however, he does the same thing pretty much every week. Yet, when Jason does it, he's told to change it up and be different. Both performers know exactly who they are - it just strikes me as a double standard. Anyway, last week he performed one of my favorite songs ever, Eleanor Rigby which was great but dammit, it's a song about a funeral and homeboy smiled his way through it! With that aside, I loved it. This week he sang Day Tripper which had that same rocker vibe that, throughout, had a very driven sound that would be fantastic on the radio today. Even Patrick looked up from his laptop and said, "This guy's really great." And I didn't even think he liked that kind of performer.

6.) Michael Johns. First of all, this guy is super hunky. However, he's an obvious producer plant, having had alleged record contracts with his band in Australia before coming to the States. He was definitely an early front-runner - in Hollywood he absolutely nailed an acapella version of Bohemian Rhapsody and in week one of the semi-finals he did wonderfully on Light My Fire. However, since then he's also been coasting, and not necessarily in a good way. Last week he sang Across the Universe, another one of my favorite songs ever [can you tell I love the Beatles?] and sounded fairly complacent. This week he sang A Day in the Life and was seriously all over the place. I honestly think the judges are going to jump ship soon, despite their past pimping of him, and his gorgeous looks will only get him so far unless he really pulls out something amazing soon.

7.) Amanda Overmeyer. She's the current Vote for the Worst darling, and in a way I can see why. I believe she has the least amount of vocal talent in the current top 11. Sure, she knows what she wants to perform, and that's a very good thing. But, unlike the other performers who also know who they are musically, every week she sounds exactly the same. Despite my love for the Beatles, I honestly couldn't tell you what song she sang last week. But I looked it up and she sang You Can't Do That and the judges thought it was great, but it really sounded messy. This week she sang Back in the USSR which is a fantastic song from the White album [I think?] and I honestly could not understand 3/4's of the words in the song. Was it intentional? I have no idea, but her biker-chick whiskey-swilling two-pack-a-day shtick has already grown old for me, mostly right about the time she channeled Cruella de Vil and massacred one of the greatest songs of the 70s, Carry On My Wayward Son.

8.) Ramiele Malubay. This is another one who's seriously lost her momentum. She was marketed as the "tiny Asian girl with the voice of a diva", but after three weeks of choosing Idol already-ran songs and not even doing them that well, she's losing her steam. I would say, never underestimate the Asian vote [not to sound rude, but Jasmine Trias made the top 3 in Season 3 and she was really, really bad most of the time] but I would really love to see her get her groove back and earn it. Last week she sang In My Life, which is a great song, but also a fairly boring and sentimental song, and her performance was, in fact, boring. This week she sang I Should Have Known Better in the favored pimp spot, and I was sad to see that it sounded really karaoke. Seriously, the arrangement, her off-key vocals... I've heard better at Cloud 9 [okay, maybe not Cloud 9. Probably the place on Castro Street in SF that specializes in Idol wannabes]. I would have loved to see her really nail it, but she didn't. Also: what is with this girl and the waterworks at EVERY results show? I know she was close to Danny Noriega, but when he was voted off, you'd have thought that they were announcing his execution. Homegirl had a serious meltdown.

9.) Chikesie. I gotta admit, this guy has grown on me. In the semi-finals, I mostly just saw him as that guy who looks like Carlton Banks, sings songs already totally pwned by Elliott Yamin and stole my sweet boy Danny Noriega's rightful spot in the top 12. But after he showed true compassion toward a distraught Danny after he was eliminated, and completely freaking nailed She's a Woman last week, he's definitely back in my good graces. Who'd have thought a geeky looking TSA employee with Nigerian roots would totally rock out a Beatles song and give it a bluegrass vibe? His position in the top 12 was questionable before that, and after last week, he's earned his place and then some. Not to mention his sheer joy after the judges' comments was infectious and endearing. This week he sang I've Seen Just a Face, a song I've grown to love even more after hearing it in Across the Universe, and even though Simon dismissed it as The Beatles meets Billy Ray Cyrus, I thought it was great, especially after he busted out the harmonica. Maybe that's why Simon didn't like it... he loathed Taylor Hicks and still makes that known. But that aside, I think he's gaining momentum, especially if he does well next week.

10.) Syesha Mercado. She's got a fantastic voice, there's no doubt about that. Unfortunately, last year was the year of the "diva" [similar to Season 3] and after Jordin's win, there's no use for her. In fact, out of all the diva-ish women of colour in the semi-finals, she was my least favorite because I think she's boring and has two volumes: loud and louder. Sure, she can sing Whitney, but honestly, who cares? Last week she sang Got to Get You Into My Life, the arrangement made famous by Earth Wind and Fire. She sang first and ended up in the bottom three the following night because it was completely forgettable. Tonight she sang Yesterday, which is definitely one of the more famous songs by the Beatles and considering her tendency to yell her notes, I was worried. I think she did good with it, even if she did get belty in places. I do think she was trying in a way to channel the still-famous performance of Summertime by Fantasia in Season 3, where she completely emotionally connected to the song to the point of tears. However, Syesha is no Fantasia, as much as it pains me to write that because Fantasia is annoying, and it all seemed contrived. She may be "back", sayeth the judges, but she's got a long way to go if she wants to stay in this.

11.) Kristy Lee Cook. Oh lord, where do I start? First of all, she's definitely another producer plant, having had a record contract with BMI in 2001. Her audition backstory painted her in a very Carrie Underwood-fashion, making her seem like a small-town girl who sang to her horses and never left the woods. Well, she did, and even though she's had experience, all she's really shown us is that she's "country" and that the only song she can really sing well is Amazing Grace. Sure, she's got a good voice, but she's beyond outmatched here. She was one of many blond Carrie Underwood clones to make it to Hollywood, and one of three to sing in the semi-finals. Sadly, she wasn't the best and has yet to prove she's earned her spot here. Last week she sang an uber-countrified version of Eight Days a Week that sounded like Deliverance-meets-Dolly Parton on crack. She got panned by the judges, rightfully so, and wound up in the bottom two last week. Tonight she sang You've Got to Hide Your Love Away, saying in her pre-performance clip that she chose the song based on the name because she's not familiar with either the song or really the Beatles in general. First of all, what the hell? I know she's from the backwoods of Oregon, but EVERYONE knows the Beatles. And the song she chose tonight was covered by Eddie Vedder in 2001 and was quite a radio hit. I don't know if she's seriously just that clueless or is getting the infamous "villain" edit by the producers. Either way, she didn't do well at all, straying from the beat and the key and she was drowned out by the band. She has a good chance to go this week, but never, ever underestimate the country demographic. For the love of all that is holy, it got freaking Kellie Pickler and her Jessica Simpson act to the top 6 of Season 5. Enough said.

So, who do I think will be in the bottom three tomorrow? Tough to say. I think it'll be Kristy, Ramiele and Amanda, but that's based on performances and placement. Quite often, the first singer ends up in the bottom three if they're anything less than phenomenal [or an obvious fan favorite]. The other two... well, they weren't very good.

If you read all that drivel, you get a cookie!

PS: I miss David Hernandez. He was pretty and actually very good. I'm willing to bet that Strippergate caused his ouster, and not on the part of the voters, if you catch my drift.

six months later, where am I?

2008-03-10T00:52:00.002-05:00

Sometime toward the end of August I drove back to Oklahoma from California, with my dear friend Doug, after spending three months back home [with a three week interval on the East Coast]. As I walked back into my apartment, despite the fact that I was keyed-up and wired on Red Bull when I arrived, I took a moment to let it sink in that at that moment, I was a completely different person than the young woman who walked out that May.

In the weeks prior to Jake flying in and the two of us making a erratic, day-and-night interstate trip back home, I was depressed. I don't know why. Complacency had bloomed in me like an overgrown plant. School didn't matter, even though I knew I had to finish soon. Patrick was gone, and it was the first time I didn't have something major to distract me from it. I wasn't working. I don't know what I spent my time doing. I got a lot of Chinese takeout from the dive down the street and I practically lived in my cutoff Air Force sweatshirt and Wal-Mart yoga pants.

In fact, the first few weeks of me being home were still rough. I didn't know where I stood with some of my college friends... I'd been away for too long, the last time I'd seen some of them was at my wedding. I was experiencing some sort of sensory overload from being back in my element, my home state, and it was making me feel a combination of sublimely happy and confused. My brother was home, and seeing him go back and forth from hardcore drug use to normalcy still jarred me, despite having seen it at its worse.

And yet, something clicked, probably around the end of June, early July. Julie visited and we went to San Francisco, downtown Sacramento, wine country. I went clubbing with some of my college friends and then went to a dear friend's wedding feeling completely out of place. I started losing weight - despite the fact that I'd stopped trying weeks beforehand - and I grew less jealous of the friends who could probably slither into a halter from Forever 21 without thinking twice. Inner peace reigned, and being around a very large support base only helped.

When I went to the East Coast with my mom, and got reacquainted with family members I hadn't seen in five years, this inner peace seemed to transcend anything I'd felt before. By the time I was preparing to head back to Oklahoma in August, I realized that I was being the person I was before I moved to Oklahoma, before my work at SFSU made me jaded and bitter. Before Dale and his drug use took a turn for the precarious. Before I put on 20 pounds without even realizing it. Before wedding planning seemed to dominate my existence. I could be that person again... I could write, I could explore creative parts of my brain that had been left untouched, coated in dust, for over a year.

And then I started thinking of ways to utilize this clear way of thinking into productive channels. I applied to University of Central Oklahoma on a whim, not really thinking I'd be accepted but realizing that my GPA was up to par with their requirements. I was accepted on the spot. I got a morning job working with two children I adore completely. I started writing again, even though the "novel" I started during National Novel Writing Month hasn't had much done to it since 2007. It's there, though, for when I feel the need to release some of this pent-up stress from everyday life. I'd lost 20 pounds since May, though I haven't any clue how that happened [I credit the flu I had in October, and being around my mom, who is very health-conscious].

It's been a little over six months since the day I came home in August. I've spent half a semester in school and I've been more conscientious about it than I have since I was at Solano, desperately trying to transfer. I'm keeping up with my health, both physical and mental, not letting those same bad and complacent feelings get ahead of me. I have my friends here, and I feel comfortable with them. I miss my friends back home desperately - and I'm not going to lie when I say that I get jealous when I see them all hanging out in places I could only dream of going here - but I don't let it drag me down.

With Patrick in school and applying for a job in Washington, DC [we're not getting our hopes up but we have to try for it, no?], I can accept now that we will not be here forever. Change happens. My friends back home will not cease being my friends because of the distance. My friends here have proven to be a fantastic support base. And if I ever get down again, I remind myself of how wonderful it felt to know that I could be passionate and creative and happy again... I take that mindset and run with it.

it's not fun feeling like you can't freakin' move.

2008-03-05T21:27:00.003-06:00

It's official: I have the immune system of Bubble Boy.

Last week I missed class on Friday to see the flight doc about what felt like bronchitis. All week I'd been coughing, running a fever and generally feeling like my lungs were dying. The cough was so bad that I couldn't even keep food down. So I was put on an antibiotic and even though I'm taking it with Mucinex, I'm still coughing quite a bit.

Two weeks before that, I could barely eat. My stomach was a mess and I'd heard that there was a norovirus floating around the Midwest City area. I had three exams to prepare for in the following week, and making an appointment with flight med was proving impossible, so Patrick took me to the ER just so I could have either peace of mind or some kind of meds to make it all go away.

We were stuck in the ER for six hours where they took some blood and gave me an IV full of a nausea and cramping medication that promptly knocked me out [at least they didn't give me morphine like they did last time]. After my blood work came back, I was released at 5:00 a.m. with a clean diagnosis and the bleak feeling like I'd just wasted six hours.

Not to mention that when we got back out to the car, there was a layer of ice coating the windshield. Patrick referred to it as "God's middle finger". Nice.

This is the third chest cold and the second flu-type bug I've had since September. Weird, right?

Anyway, I blame my horrible immune system on working with children who seem to be permanently on antibiotics. Poor guys. Hopefully, in the coming months with my borderline overdose of vitamin C and zinc, I'll be able to function without being bedridden every two weeks.

And on a totally unrelated note, is it weird that I'm watching last night's Top 8 Dudes episode of American Idol... again? I love these guys, especially Jason Castro [my stoner reality TV crush] and Danny Noriega [he's fierce!].

a new addiction strikes back.

2008-03-02T17:03:00.004-06:00

I'm kind of an American Idol junkie.

Well, usually the top 24 rounds are meant to sift out the "cannon fodder" of unseen singers and bland wannabe popstars so the fan / judge / producer faves can ease into the "finals", otherwise known as the Top 12. Unlike prior years when the top 24 / semifinals rounds allowed the contestants to sing whatever genre they wanted, this year they had themes similar to the finals. Two weeks ago they had to sing stuff from the '60s.

Jason Castro seemed to be part of that cannon fodder of singers who hadn't been seen at all up to this point. He's got a dramatic look - long dreads and innocent stoner eyes - but no one really knew anything else.

Until he sang "Daydream" by the Lovin' Spoonful in the second-to-last position that night, armed with a guitar and a sweetly soulful voice, and America realized that this could be an real competition, after all.

He made the song current... with a Jack Johnson / Plain White T's feel that's been fairly popular in the past five years. This song would sound good on the radio today. If we can expect more like this, it could be a very interesting season indeed.

Here's a video of the performance -

Coming soon: My Bubble Boy immune system, Oklahoma City's gay scene and a possible change in locale...

Oscar live-blogging... keep refreshing!

2008-02-24T20:13:00.018-06:00

- Jon Stewart is probably one of the funniest people on the planet. Gotta love his political ramblings... I can just see people getting all up in arms about that. To them, I say this - it's Jon freaking Stewart! Did you expect any less?

- The "80 Years of Oscar" montage brought tears to my eyes, especially as they played "My Heart Will Go On". Patrick laughed. Blargh... I can't help it, I love montages. In another life I would have been a film editor.

- Steve Carell was totally channeling Michael Scott from "The Office" while presenting Best Documentary... I mean Best Animated Feature.

- If they were going to have Amy Adams perform "Happy Working Song" couldn't they have at least put her in character? The drab black dress she wore was no contest for the fluffy gown she wore while singing that in the film. And they could have at least added some cartoon mice and roaches in the background. Totally didn't capture the vibe of the song. I still love her though.

- Javier Bardem for "Supporting Actor". There was really no contest there. He was fantastic and deserved it. Patrick predicted that in a surprising upset, the winner would be "James Gandolfini, or Cate Blanchett". He's such a joker.

- Tilda Swinton for "Supporting Actress". Wow, I got two in a row... I must be doing something right this year. Anyway, her dress is hideous and I would have loved to see Ruby Dee get this one [even though her performance was tiny] but I'm okay with this too. This was probably the most insanely hard to predict category and I'm glad they went for straight acting and not gimmicky.

- Miley Cyrus presents the Best Song nominee, "That's How You Know" from "Enchanted". At least they decided to add some production value to this one, because all those background people are part of the song. Such a hilarious movie. On a related note, what the hell is Miley Cyrus doing at the Oscars? I know she's huge right now, but she hasn't done a single movie, nor is she a nominee for anything. I guess they'll do what they can for ratings...

- Can I just say that I love the montages they're doing before the actor / actress nominees, where they show past winners accepting their awards? It's such a great way to honor them and to show the past 80 years of Oscars. I'm such a sucker for this.

- Now to present the Sound awards, Dame Judi Dench and Halle Berry... I mean Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill from the Judd Apatow crew [of 'Knocked Up', 'Superbad' and '40-Year-Old Virgin']. Good lord these guys are hilarious. Can you believe that they're both the same age as me? I find it hard to believe. Oh well... Jewfros abound! Now for the bigger question - why am I not posting who wins this? Hah.

- Marion Cotillard for "Best Actress"! Seriously, it was her or Ellen Page that I was rooting for. I'm glad they chose the clips they did for both of them - the two clips they chose for the SAG awards were so outplayed. Wow, she looks radiant, doesn't she? What an upset. I love seeing upsets in this category - doesn't happen often. I'm glad I wavered in this category because even though I generally loathe "locked" categories I really did not think Christie had this in the bag. Trivia: This is the first actress win for a foreign language film since Sophia Loren won in 1962 for "Two Women". And she was a much more famous actress then.

- What a fantastic Best Picture montage. I love it. Again, I got a little teary-eyed. The tears turned on even more so when Patrick said "Crash" deserved to win "Best Picture"... he may sleep on the couch tonight. [I'm kidding]

- Will someone close to Renee Zellweger please tell her to stop getting plastic surgery? Her face looks like she got stung by a bee after eating 500 lemons.

- "Falling Slowly" from "Once" wins Best Song. I'm not surprised... after "Dreamgirls" had three songs nominated last year and all of them canceled each other out, I had a feeling that would happen this year with "Enchanted". Besides, everyone I knew who saw "Once" LOVED it. Not to mention it was a beautiful song. I need to see it. Also: does John Travolta have hair transplants? You be the judge!

- Hilary Swank [I don't like her] presents the "In Memoriam" montage. Heath Ledger got the most applause. Every time I see him on screen for "Brokeback Mountain" I get chills. I need to get that DVD asap. Wow.

- They're having servicemembers overseas announce the Best Documentary Short Subject nominees and winner. That is really quite cool.

- Diablo Cody wins Best Original Screenplay for "Juno". I'm not going to argue that it wasn't well-deserved, because it *was* a great screenplay even if it was a tad overwritten. But I think the bigger surprise from this is that she *didn't* make a pretentious, pop culture-laden acceptance speech that maybe ten people would understand. She seemed very honored to win and very surprised as well, even though she's been the frontrunner for months. Nice tats, though.

- Patrick just said he'd "do" Helen Mirren. Hmm... okay, well, she is hot for being like 63. Anyway, Daniel Day-Lewis for "Best Actor". Did we have any doubt? I haven't seen "There Will Be Blood" yet, but Patrick has and he said that the baptism scene was a very pivotal point in the film, even though I'm tired of seeing it played repeatedly. Even though I was touched by his Heath Ledger memorial at the SAG awards, I'm sorta glad he didn't repeat it here. Anyway, on a somewhat unrelated note, why didn't Paul Dano get any Oscar buzz for this film? He showed last year in "Little Miss Sunshine" that he can indeed act and from what I've seen, he was fantastic in "There Will Be Blood". Oh well... he's young. He has time.

- "No Country for Old Men" and the Coen brothers pick up both the Best Picture and Best Director(s) wins. Both are well-deserved. I like an upset as much as the next person who, well, likes an upset, but if there had to be a lock, I'm glad it was this one. What an incredible film.

That's all kiddos. More last minute thoughts will come later... but with the "filler" montages whipped up in light of the WGA strike and the amusing Jon Stewart commentary and deserving winners, I think that was a fantastic ceremony.

Oscar night is upon us... finally!

2008-02-24T18:34:00.004-06:00

This is seriously my favorite night of the year. For me, it's the equivalent of the Super Bowl. I wanted to have an "Oscar party" but last year that didn't prove to be very successful and everyone is busy tonight so it's just me, Patrick, Abbie and me possible live-blogging this whole thing.

Anyway, here are my thoughts and predictions for tonight.

Best Picture

Atonement
Juno
Michael Clayton
No Country for Old Men
There Will Be Blood

- This seems to be a fairly locked-up category, doesn't it? "No Country for Old Men" has certainly won the lion's share of pre-cursor awards and is a lock for Best Supporting Actor. It's directed by two brothers who have directed some very fine work in the past. However, I don't believe it's locked up, and neither do many insiders. "Juno" has had fantastic box office, not to mention the cast and crew [*ahem* Diablo Cody, hipster of the year] have been promoting it like crazy. People are also talking much more about "Michael Clayton" now that it's out on DVD, and it also has three acting nominations. And "There Will Be Blood" was also a critical masterpiece with Daniel Day-Lewis all set to accept his second Oscar. But I think if any film has a chance at an upset, it's "Juno". The past three Best Picture winners have been fairly depressing and the Academy might want to take a chance and go for something more light-hearted.

Best Actor

George Clooney, Michael Clayton
Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will be Blood
Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd
Tommy Lee Jones, In the Valley of Elah
Viggo Mortenson, Eastern Promises

- This is Day-Lewis' Oscar to lose. I can't see anyone here upsetting, really. "Sweeney Todd" wasn't overly recognized outside of a few tech categories, Tommy Lee Jones was an upset nomination and Viggo Mortenson should be happy to just be nominated as well. George Clooney just won two years ago, and even though he's extremely loved in Hollywood, his role wasn't enough to upstage Day-Lewis for the win.

Best Actress

Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie, Away From Her
Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose
Laura Linney, The Savages
Ellen Page, Juno

- Many people are saying that Julie Christie is a lock to win. I don't believe that, and I'm not alone. Even though she's won the Golden Globe and the SAG award, she's also shared many critics awards with Page and Cotillard. Page has the benefit of having a very, very memorable role and her film is up for Best Picture and it's had excellent box office. Blanchett shouldn't have even been nominated [her film was a critical bust] and Linney should be happy to be there - her nomination was quite a surprise, as it got nearly no buzz and ousted Amy Adams and Angelina Jolie from nominations. So although I think Christie has the best chance of winning, Page or Cotillard could also win this in an "upset".
- There's also the buzz that because Linney is a previous two-time nominee and the only American in the race, she stands the chance of winning all Helen Hunt style for being the only American. I don't subscribe to that idea.

Best Supporting Actor

Casey Affleck, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Charlie Wilson's War
Hal Holbrook, Into the Wild
Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton

- Bardem's got the win here. There's no chance for an upset here - not only has he won pretty much every award coming up to this, but his role was one of the most memorable villain roles ever created. And it's in a Best Picture frontrunner. He's got it.

Best Supporting Actress

Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There
Ruby Dee, American Gangster
Saoirse Ronan, Atonement
Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone
Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton

- This is probably the most "up in the air" category of any of the acting races. I think Ronan doesn't have much of a chance, but the other four actresses have won something for this prior to tonight. Blanchett won the Golden Globe, Dee won the SAG award, Swinton won the BAFTA and Ryan won most of the critics awards. With that said, I think the Academy may have seen "I'm Not There" as too divisive and weird [this is the only nomination for this film], "American Gangster" didn't get much more love at the Oscars this year and "Gone Baby Gone" only got this one nomination. I think Swinton has the edge, but just barely.

There are my thoughts on the acting races, the only ones I feel I have any authority to predict. Let's hope "there will be upsets"! Haha, I can make puns. I'll be doing a bit of live-blogging tonight, but for a really great live-blog, go check out Nathaniel at The Film Experience!

Spring cleaning is upon us...

2008-02-23T00:51:00.002-06:00

So Patrick and I have an amazing digital camera. We bought it with some of the money we received as wedding gifts, because neither of us had a decent camera and we both love taking pictures. Anyway, it's always worked fairly well until recently - mostly the past nine months or so - we've noticed that it doesn't hold a charge. It uses rechargeable batteries, the AA kind that you can stick in a charger and re-use. However, no matter how many different brands of rechargeable batteries we use, or how long we charge them, we get *maybe* an hour's worth of camera time.

We spent close to $600 on this camera. Needless to say we were frustrated. So Patrick took the camera to Best Buy here in Midwest City and they sent it into Sony to have it fixed, all covered under warranty. Thank heavens for *that*.

Anyway, with that said, I wish I could post pictures of how my living room looks, but I can't, because we are without our camera for a few weeks. Our tax return was just deposited into our account today, so Julie and I hit up Target for decor.

My living room has always been a hodgepodge of random-ness. I never thought it looked overly polished and I never really cared until recently. We spent about five hours getting the room looking fantastic - coffee-tinted curtains over the sliding-glass door, matching tablecloths and table-runners, throw pillows, wall shelves for framed photos. The curtains were the fun part - imagine me hoarding a power drill doing my best Tim Taylor [from Home Improvement] impersonation and us eventually jerry-rigging the curtain rod with strips of fabric until we can eventually get the damn thing set straight. That would have been worthy of quite a few photos.

Tomorrow afternoon we're going to work on my bedroom, which is its own entity. Patrick agreed to do the curtains for that room - after tonight, I'll be okay with never having to do that again. But it's such a mess and before we do anything, I need to sift through the piles of clothes and miscellaneous items all over the place. Then we move furniture.

Eventually - hopefully sometime next weekend - we'll be re-working the guest room [currently a "stuff" room with an unused computer desk and an aerobed for guests] into a rec room of sorts, with a futon and more usable space. But I have to remind myself - I definitely need to take this one day at a time.

At least progress has been made. I feel like such a grown-up. Imagine that.

nothing's gonna change my world.

2008-02-16T18:36:00.004-06:00

Last night as I lay on the couch nursing a stomach bug with a heating pad and room-temperature Sprite, Patrick brought home a surprise - the DVD of Across the Universe, which I've been dying to see ever since I watched the trailer this summer.

I have an incredible love for The Beatles' music and generally the whole late 1960s / Summer of Love era so I knew that no matter what, it would be a treat to watch. I'm pleased to say I wasn't wrong on that accord.

It's a polarizing film - many love it and many think it's a waste of time. However, I believe that it is what it is - a sumptuous feast for the senses.

There are over 30 songs from The Beatles' vast catalog in this film, ranging from their early "Fab Four" albums to some of their more LSD-inspired tunes from The White Album. Each song in the film has a moment it inspired - none of them seem out of place.

Each character starts out innocent enough, untainted by the tumultuous events that were set to occur throughout the decade. Evan Rachel Wood plays a teenager in a small town named Lucy, whose boyfriend is about to ship out to boot camp. Jim Sturgess is a dock worker named Jude who sets out to the United States to find his father. Joe Anderson is a free-wheeling Princeton student named Max who drops out and heads to New York City with Jude to live a more independent life. These are the three to watch, although a cast of supporting characters round out this group of young adults who eventually reside in a downtown New York walkup in the infamous late 60s.

What I loved was how the songs resembled something new. "I Want to Hold Your Hand" is a lesbian love song [performed by the luscious T.V. Carpio who plays Prudence, with a voice as clear as a canary] sung to a fellow cheerleader. "Let it Be" is a solemn funeral dirge amidst race riots and young fallen soldiers. "I've Just Seen a Face" is sung at a bowling alley as we see Jude slowly fall for Lucy. "Because" is sung by the cast, stoned after a long LSD-fueled trip into the middle of nowhere. And "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" is sung in memory of Dr. Martin Luther King as we discover he's been killed.

The parts of the film that may polarize viewers are some of the most visually stunning. As we see Max in a military hospital singing "Happiness is a Warm Gun", Salma Hayek appears as several different nurses, seducing him and several other bedridden soldiers. Eddie Izzard makes an appearance as "Mr. Kite" [bet you can't guess what song he sings] as the drug-addled group runs into his traveling circus. There's even a slightly homoerotic scene as Max goes through the process of being drafted, as Uncle Sam grabs him from a poster singing "I Want You [She's So Heavy]".

It's just a fantastic film. There aren't many like it out there, and many will dismiss it as "Moulin Rouge meets Hair". But it's much more than that - an anthem to a decade known for joy, heartbreak, political turmoil and free love. Set to some of the best music of the century, it's a film that couldn't have gone wrong if it tried.

Drop it like it's hot... in downtown Oklahoma City.

2008-02-11T22:10:00.000-06:00

Julie had her birthday party at CityWalk last weekend. CityWalk is basically Oklahoma City's answer to the "nightlife" scene you'd see in any other major city, but instead they crowded every club idea into one three story building.

It really is a lot of fun, and I give them credit for trying. You can see the blue-lit sign from blocks around downtown and when you're dropped off in front of the entry, a couple of burly bouncers in three-piece suits are there to check your ID. Once you're inside, the thumps of overplayed remixed club music muddles with whatever's playing in the 80s room near the entrance.

The first thing you see, aside from the ubiquitous ATM machine, is the "Tequila Park" which claims to have the largest tequila selection in the Southwest, but is another excuse for a quick drink before you head to the overcrowded areas. You'll also see "Boogie Nights", the aforementioned 80s room which plays a plethora of music from that decade, as well as stuff from the disco era and early 90s.

Of course, they have a huge generic club room called "City Limits" which boasts a fairly large dance floor and about five bars surrounding it. This area is a general meat market, with under-dressed frat boy clones hitting on any college-aged chick they can find, though most of them end up grinding on the masses of pudgy ladies in brightly colored polyester tops with 18-hour bras poking out. Here you can hear the latest dance hits, with the occasional "remixed" country song to make it somewhat dancable.

The "Dirty Martini" bar, also known as the cigar bar due to the lovely variety of stogies they sell, is probably my favorite part of the club. You can still groove with your friends, although the lowlights and couches provide a more lush and relaxed atmosphere. It's also above the big dance floor, so you can chill at one of the high-top tables and mock the meat market below.

They have a techno room called "Posh" that insists on a higher dress code but no one really stops those in jeans and a crop top from inevitably filtering in. They also have a karaoke room where you're bound to hear about 10 country songs in a row, with bursts of outplayed generic karaoke songs by American Idol would-be rejects.

Aside from all that, I love CityWalk when I'm with a good group. You can float from room to room, depending on your mood at that moment, and the high number of bars ensure that you'll likely never be waiting in line.

Of course, the opportunity for drunken people-watching is a kick, whether it be pointing out the soldiers who braved the two-hour drive from Fort Sill just to get a piece of tail, or the wasted early-twentysomethings who huddle in big groups and try to play coy when a douchebag holding a Budweiser bottle tries to grab their ass.

Which is why I go with people who are married or seriously taken, and don't want that. We always end up having a great time.

just kidding.

2008-02-03T21:30:00.000-06:00

Okay, so, I ended up watching most of the Super Bowl after Encore ran dry on their movie selections. I'm glad I did.

I still stand by me not liking football. Not at all. But if there's anything I do like, it's an upset by a serious underdog, and that was definitely the New York Giants tonight. Besides, Eli Manning is so darn cute, you can't help but root for him.

I kept calling my mom every time something good happened, only to be greeted with lots of screaming. The entire Chapman household plus their guests were rooting hardcore for the Giants - not a surprise, considering my mom is a New York native.

This makes me very happy, and my heart only just stopped racing. How exciting!

By the way, Tom Brady is still a ginormous tool.

are you ready for some football? ... no.

2008-02-03T16:20:00.001-06:00

Am I the only person who's not interested in the Super Bowl?

Anyone? ... Bueller?

I don't know - I'm not a fan of football in the slightest. The sport agitates me and devoting an entire day to watching it just seems asinine to me. Not to insult those who are very into it, I'm just not.

Patrick went over to Andy and Julie's for a min-Super Bowl party tonight. I wanted to go, if not to just socialize and have a few drinks. The guys all have tomorrow off [way to go, Chair Force] and Julie isn't working, but I have to be at work at 7:30 a.m. tomorrow, I've got a full day of classes AND a quiz to study for. Going over there would just make me envious of the fact that I'd be not able to drink, watching a sport I have absolutely no interest in.

So it's just Abbie and me tonight, several movies and iTunes. The only reason I'd even watch it is for the commercials, and hell, I can catch those on YouTube later.

It doesn't help that my tummy is still recovering and being around deliciously unhealthy snacks wouldn't be a good idea. Tuna on crackers sounds so much better, anyway.

So, reassure me... tell me I'm not the only one who simply doesn't care about today. Anyone?

Do they wish they all could be California girls?

2008-01-30T22:16:00.000-06:00

Last week in one of my classes, I was hit in the face with another dose of reality here.

The professor for this class [which I won't disclose here] knows I'm from California; I've mentioned it once or twice anecdotally during discussions. I don't tell people this to try and brag, or to be on my little mountain of West Coast pride. Having lived there for 24 years simply plays a large role in my life, whether I want it to or not. It's my home.

Anyway, we were discussing states, namely states in the Southwest region of the country. She was listing a few - "Arizona, New Mexico, and that stupid la-la land California."

I felt comfortable enough to jokingly say, "Hey! That's not nice." I made a point to sound joking, and the professor had always seemed open-minded enough to understand.

Instead, she looked me dead-on and said, "Well, nothing you say will change my mind."

I shut my mouth. I didn't want to say anything else.

I've lived in Oklahoma for almost two years, but this one thing has continued to baffle me... the stigma of being a California transplant in Oklahoma.

It's always been this way, to a point. I don't try to stick out, in fact aside from not being a Sooners fan, a hardcore church-goer and pride-filled Oklahoman [not to be confused with 'prideful'], I just try to blend in and do my thing. I mostly surround myself with military families and servicemembers because they understand what it's like to live somewhere you don't consider home.

But it always inevitably comes out - in conversation, in the way I speak, in what I'm interested in. I can't help it. I won't try to hide it, but I don't intend to rub it in people's faces, either.

When I first moved here I helped out at an after-school program in Norman. I wasn't in school and I wanted to fill my time. I'd mentioned to a few of the OU students I worked with that I'd just moved to the area from Northern California.

The stereotypes came out in full force. "Do you surf?" "Do you get a lot of earthquakes?" "Is that alcohol you're drinking?" When someone said that, I was holding an Arizona Green Tea. I still can't figure out why that immediately translated to "secretly drinking".

I also got a small handful of the "gay" comments, too. "Oh, you went to school in San Francisco... are you gay?"

Yes. Yes, I'm gay. Everyone who has lived in San Francisco is gay. You catch teh gay when you move there. Yes, this engagement ring, given to me by a MAN? Yeah, that's all a cover-up. You got me.

At a bar I had a seriously drunk airman ask me, after telling me that I "talk funny", if I am a "fruit or a nut".

I even had a former friend, amidst a fight that my darling husband kept egging on, use where I'm from as a form of attacking me. She called us "drunken snobbish Californians" on more than one occasion. When we were friends, she would "joke" about how Californian I am... when all I was doing was, well, being me. [For the record, she's from a small Midwestern town. Can't win 'em all].

So as of now, I just do my best to not talk about where I'm from to native Oklahomans. I'm here to learn, to live until we finish our assignment and until Patrick graduates college. I know it'll come up in a job interview - I refuse to take my SFSU experience off of my resume because the college publication I was on has won quite a few awards and I was advised by some of the best in the industry.

But do I fear that it'll somehow hinder me in a job interview? Absolutely I do. After some of the ignorant comments I've gotten from living here, I don't know what to expect.

that's what she said.

2008-01-27T23:08:00.000-06:00

Dear Zac Efron,

Please stop wearing foundation. You're naturally pretty - you don't need it. It makes you look... well... people have been spreading these gay rumours for a reason.

Love,
Stephani

I love awards season! After being deprived of the Golden Globes [for the record, I support the WGA 100 percent], it was great to see the red carpet action and to feel the suspense of the presenters opening envelopes, announcing winners and possible upsets. There weren't many upsets tonight, but there were enough to make me happy.

The Office won for Best Cast in a Comedy Series! I so was not expecting this. When it comes to TV, awards shows the past few years have favored new shows. Not to mention, The Office hit its prime in Season Two. But seeing this win? So much happiness here. It's such an amazing cast, so multi-layered and hilarious and heartbreaking all at once. Besides, any opportunity to see my other husband [John Krasinski, who is smokin' hot no matter what he wears] is always a good thing.
I don't like Cate Blanchett. I liked her a lot several years ago - when she was killer in Elizabeth and even made mimicry look good in The Aviator. These days, though, it's almost like she picks up roles tailor-made for Oscar nominations. A gimmick role as Bob Dylan? An apparently craptastic sequel to Elizabeth? Kinda borders on grating. I haven't seen American Gangster, but seeing Ruby Dee win made me smile a bit. She hasn't been much of a frontrunner this season so seeing her win makes me believe that Oscar upsets really CAN happen.
Daniel Day-Lewis is a bit crazy [most devoted method actor I've ever seen], but his speech dedicated to Heath Ledger caught my breath in my throat and gave me chills.
Javier Bardem is hot. Yep. For a moment, I caught myself staring and almost forgot how bone-chilling he was in No Country for Old Men. Well. Almost.

Another long week ahead. I'll have happy dreams about The Office and trudge through it.

oh, look... my passport... behind the TV

2008-01-27T03:46:00.000-06:00

My eyes grew sleepy around 1am this morning - waking up at 6am most days will do that to you. As I was heading to bed, I decided I wanted to read a specific book, one I'd read several times and have always enjoyed. It's called "Little Girls in Pretty Boxes" and it's something of a tell-all about the gruesome underworld of ladies gymnastics and figure skating. It focuses on the sports in the 80s and early 90s and every time I've read it, it's always enthralled me.

I initially came upon it by accident. My first year of college, my friend Christian and I were bored at the Fairfield public library and they were having a book "sale" - in that the table was full of used books with a box saying "Please donate $1 per book". Being the cheap and rebellious 18-year-old I was, I grabbed the book and left. I've read it numerous times since.

So after watching the US Figure Skating championships today, I decided I'd like to read it again. I checked the spare bedroom, where we keep our books. It wasn't on either of the shelves. So I started digging.

Now, let me preface this with the fact that our apartment is FAR from organized. In fact, that's my goal for the next few months - spend half of our tax return getting this place organized and in order. So I spent the next two hours rifling through boxes, shelves, bags, suitcases... whatever I could find. I hadn't read it in awhile - it could be anywhere.

Instead, I found the following:

A purple scarf I got at Savers in college
Four pairs of earrings, never worn
My St. Christopher pendant puka shell necklace
My copy of 'The Godfather' by Mario Puzo
Two Ziploc bags with all of the cards we received from the wedding
A large stack of snapshots of Patrick's ex [I had known about them before]
My BarCareers handbook
A package of wedding napkins, unopened
About six shirts that I thought were gone forever
A GameBoy charger
The green slippers that I "borrowed" from my mom
Bandannas that I bought for Abbie this summer
A stack of business cards that I'd collected when I was in New York in July 2002 [how's that for random?]
The ring bearer pillow from the wedding
My rainbow frog blanket
A digital thermometer

Any motivation I had for spring cleaning has now been increased tenfold. And I am definitely ordering that book on Amazon tonight.

Unhealthy or just me being female?

2008-01-26T21:10:00.001-06:00

Hello, my name is Stephani, and I'm addicted to Bath and Body Works.

It's starting to border on unhealthy, really. I have 17 bottles of their body splash, nine bottles of shower gel, eight things of body lotion / body cream / body butter, six things of anti-bacterial hand soap, and countless miscellaneous items from this crazy store.

It all started out fairly innocent. I used their products in high school and in college, when I was living at home and both my mom and I liked to stock up on their products during their huge semi-annual sales. Among my female friends and me, this stuff was the best go-to Christmas or birthday gift. My mom usually bought about twelve bottles of shower gel for her and me to split and it'd last about six months, right around the time the big sale would hit again.

Until I realized how much I love their body splash. I'd see a new scent - because they come out with something new every three months or so - and I'd just *have* to get a bottle to try.

Then I stopped tanning and I realized to keep the color I had, I needed to moisturize. So I'd pick up five or six bottles of various lotion scents, because I love how soft it makes my skin feel, and having dry skin is annoying. I'd plant the various bottles all over the apartment - one above the kitchen sink, one in the bathroom, one on my nighttable, one on the end table near where I use my laptop.

Even Patrick confessed his interest in it - he likes their Sea Island Cotton scent [formerly 'Cotton Blossom' before they phased it out], Cucumber Melon and the Iced Tea Twist from their Temptations line.

Before long I was buying the high majority of my skin care from this store. I grew fond of the C.O. Bigelow Mentha lip glosses and received about five in my Christmas stocking alone. Their "Look Ma, New Hands" hand lotion from the True Blue Spa line still remains the best hand lotion on the planet. And I'm fiercely loyal to their deep cleansing anti-bacterial hand soap - not the moisturizing or foaming ones, but the gel-based ones. Even now, I have to have an even number of hand soaps in my closet, so I can put two out at a time - one in the bathroom and one in the kitchen.

I was at the mall last week killing time after work before a doctor's appointment, and like a gravitational force was pulling me toward it, I wandered into the newly-revamped Bath and Body Works at Penn Square Mall [Oklahoma City's "upscale" mall]. Buckets of heavily-discounted lotions, shower gels and body splashes beckoned at me with large posters indicating cheap prices - $2 for one bucket, $4 for another. Despite my self-insistence to not buy anything - after all, I was pretty stocked up as it was - I found my hand grabbing for a shopping bag and starting tossing lotions in. After all, I only had three bottles at home, that's surely not enough to maintain my resolution to keep my skin more moisturized this year, right?

Luckily, with three lotions, a 3-in-1 body wash set, a body splash and a hand soap, I only paid $28. Not bad for the amount I grabbed.

But regardless of the awesome sales prices, the fact remained that I didn't really need any of this stuff.

I'm sure I'm not alone in this. One of my friends here used to work for Bath & Body Works and part of why she left was because most of her paycheck was going right back to the store, using her discount to stock up on ridiculous amounts of skin care. The salesman I spoke to that day told me that between him and his fiancee, they have a large Rubbermaid tote filled to the brim with product.

Maybe I need a twelve-step program, who knows... but at least I'm aware that there are worse things I could be addicted to.

so, who are you wearing?

2008-01-23T22:21:00.000-06:00

I admit it - I'm a junkie for celebrities in the media.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I've heard it. I'm going to journalism hell. [Oh wait... I'm already there]. But seriously, it's definitely a guilty pleasure. I like Us Weekly and People and even the occasional Star or In Touch.

So last week when I was ordering textbooks via Amazon [because the "used" prices on campus are still twice as much as the "used" prices online], I decided to buy myself a "hey, you're actually being productive" present.

I've wanted this book for a long time - I blame my mom on my love of thick coffeetable books that have no real relevance to my education but are still fun to read. This one is no exception. It's 500 pages of pure celebrity red carpet overload - nothing but one glossy photo after another with virtually no commentary. For the voyeur in everyone who's into Hollywood, it's like crack.

I got it in the mail today and I'm definitely eager to pore over it tonight before bed. Patrick laughs... but at least he understands it and doesn't think I'm *totally* insane.

Oscar nominations morning is one of my favorite days of the year.

2008-01-22T21:25:00.000-06:00

I have to say, this year's Oscar nominations really made me happy, save for a few. Usually, by Oscar nomination morning, there's already a pretty set shortlist of probable nominees who end up in the running for Hollywood's top prize. In the last two years, both the Best Actor and Actress statuettes were locked in months before the ceremony even began.

This year, I feel happy to say that that hasn't happened.

Granted, the Supporting Actor lineup was pretty well set, and if Javier Bardem doesn't win as everyone's predicting, you'll hear me scream all the way from Oklahoma. His character gave me enough ominous thoughts to leave me fairly sleepless that night. His portrayal of an emotionless serial killer wielding a cattle gun is probably one of the best screen villains since Hannibal Lecter. But any film blog can tell you this, so...

I'm sure I'm in the minority here, but I'm so glad to see Jason Reitman nominated for Best Director. Films like this often get overlooked for director credit in favor of more epic films, but he did a really great job with the film on a whole.
Am I the only one burned out by Diablo Cody? There's no denying her screenplay for Juno was impressive and earned a well-deserved nomination, but it bordered on pretentious. Cody herself has gotten more press than half the cast for this film, all of whom were absolutely wonderful and made the heavily written dialogue actually work. Now she's a columnist for Entertainment Weekly and most of the country is aware that, yes, she was a stripper before writing this script. She'll be a one-film wonder.
Ladies and Gentlemen... Norbit can now call itself an Oscar nominee. There ya go, kids. A film *can* be nominated for a Razzie and an Academy Award in the same week. Seriously, is there a "fat suit" quota that the Best Makeup voters have to fill every year? If so, it should have gone to Hairspray. Better yet, Sweeney Todd...
Why did Cate Blanchett get nominated for Elizabeth: The Golden Age? Seriously? It was critically panned and she was already a shoo-in for her supporting role in I'm Not There. I know the Academy has its favorites, by Amy Adams was pretty damn good in Enchanted, even if it was a fluffy family film.
I still don't like Angelina Jolie and I'm glad she likely won't be pouting her way down the red carpet this year. Meh.
Surprises! Very few people saw Laura Linney getting in for The Savages, and even a select few apparently psychic people saw Tommy Lee Jones slipping in past James McAvoy and Emile Hirsch. If anything, they called for an upset nom for No Country for Old Men. Surprises like this warm my heart - make me believe that the Academy isn't always a flock of sheep voting for what everyone else is. Oh wait, Cate Blanchett is still nominated for Best Actress... *sigh* C'mon, really?
PT Anderson for There Will Be Blood? Awesome. I still haven't seen it yet [damn you, Oklahoma] but after being downright brilliant and yet overlooked with Boogie Nights and Magnolia [I didn't care much at all for Punch-Drunk Love], this thrills me. His work isn't for everyone, that's for sure - so I'm definitely eager to see this film.
Marion Cotillard was incredible in La Vie en Rose and I really hope more people get around to seeing it. It's out on DVD now and I watched it on-demand through my cable server. It's heavily subtitled and non-linear so you've really got to pay attention to it, but it's worth it. But I doubt she'll win.
I still love Ellen Page. Even though her teenage character was basically written like... well, a 20something ex-stripper in LA, she made it work and she was luminous. Oscar is a bit ageist when it comes to their leading ladies but she's got a great chance here.
I'm a bit sad to see the rest of the cast of Juno overlooked. Michael Cera had one hell of a year with this and Superbad and I think we can see good work from him in the future. Jennifer Garner was great and JK Simmons is always great.

There you have it, kids. My first post in my first "adult" blog. I'm so proud.